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Please help i don't know what to do

Please help i don't know what to do

I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know what to do i am married and have 2 kids one has level 2 autism and I am feeling like I can't take it any more. I also don't know whether i still love my wife

3 replies

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In response to: Please help i don't know what to do

Re: Please help i don't know what to do

Hey, I'm really glad you reached out. Life can be just about holding out head above water sometimes. It is totally normal. I think almost every Australian person responsible for children is doing it tough at the moment. The government now views childhood as a liability not an investment into the next generation and parents and caregivers are doing it so hard. Now even the middle class if finding it hard to make ends meet - so there isn't the sense of community cohesion that children were once raised in, that families were once supported in. You are not failing. Life has become extremely hard for many people. Add to that the Federal Government's war on autistic kids, I really don't know how families are managing right now. You are a champion each and every day you get through. Remember that because it is too easy to blame ourselves when the world becomes particularly hard and cold around us. I can't imagine that anyone would feel romantic or "in love" under such pressure. Extreme pressure creates cracks in relationships that otherwise wouldn't be there. I don't know whether you have a good relationship with your wife - you may not. I am just saying "Factor in that this is a difficult time and it is difficult to feel love when everything feels so bleak". Most of all keep talking. Let people walk beside you during this tough time.

In response to: Please help i don't know what to do

Re: Please help i don't know what to do

Thank you for your comment yes we are struggling with red tape for our daughter I don't her behaviours are getting worse and my relationship with my wife is strand i haven't been attracted to her romantically for a while I feel like I should leave but I don't know if I can leave the kids

In response to: Please help i don't know what to do

Re: Please help i don't know what to do

Firstly sending hugs, you are not alone. Juggling the demands of life, raising a child/children with additional needs and trying to keep your relationship alive is hard. I also know it can feel overwhelming, the only advice I can truly give is talk to your wife, give her the chance to vent her emotions as well. Care giving can take all of the love that we have and squash it into such a small thing that loving others and ourselves can be simply too hard. Of you truly loved you wife at any stage, know that that love is still there, it’s just overwhelmed, as you are. You took the first step by coming in here and reaching out, be very proud of that. Please also don’t leave. While currently your attraction to her is not at the forefront, your children/child need you and so does your wife. I was a single mum of 7 when my ex husband was removed and honestly I would have given anything for a person to be there, even without the sexual connection. Just having another person there can be the difference between floundering and getting by. If you can, stay. If you can find a place in your heart to breathe and just be with whatever life is at that particular moment then you are already winning the battle. That said if you truly feel too overwhelmed and you feel for your own safety or the others in the household that you need to leave, then leave(even temporarily) my new partner has to go. Away every month or so to just reset, get himself back and deal with our crazy neurodivergent household. It gives him a reset and allows him to be a support while

protecting his mental health as well. A break doesn’t have to be forever.

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