Not sure where to begin getting treatment for social anxiety

Hi there bzbaldb,

Sending you a warm welcome to the community!

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas and find the support and connection you deserve.

Feel free to introduce yourself in the welcome and getting started space!

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums! 😊

Hey, I’m new here and yours is the first message I’ve read.

The layout is pretty weird hey.

So I found Stephen Porges Polyvagal Theory helpful. He says (not in these exact words) the first thing we can do to help bring us out of dissociation is eye contact, but with people who have a friendly expression. So whenever I’m around people I make the effort to make eye contact as much as possible. I don’t say anything, I just do it.

Also, listening to neuroscience podcasts almost eliminated my social anxiety. Now I just leave when I start feeling uncomfortable, and I don’t beat myself up over it.

My first fav neuroscientist was Andrew Huberman.

Gut health is huge, exercise is super important and so is gratitude. Sometimes those are too challenging but they help.

I hope you’re ok.

I wish i could just have a chat with you!! I do understand why do people encourage to “talk” It through which is not always very helpful. But i can see that you’ve wonderful imagination and your subconscious is providing you with all these wonderful metaphors. If you were talking to me I’d probably focus on the sheer veil in your head that's solid as a brick wall. Rather than trying to pass through it consciously, I’d simply observe it without any expectations, without consciously trying to do anything to it and simply see how that scene unfolds. Let me know how that goes if you decide to give it a try.

Helloo thanks for the reply. It being sheer, all I've really been doing is sitting with myself and observing. Easier to look through over time but that wall is still there

Hi thanks for the reply. This is super interesting thank you I'll look into it. Although the idea of going around making eye contact sounds like a nightmare lmao, what if they take it as an invitation to speak with me 😭

I do find neurosciences really cool though so thankyou!

@bzbaldb Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you've been turned away so many times for "not talking". The people in the profession, should have been able to work with you better... to create the conditions... where you felt comfortable.

I can relate on many levels. I had a lot of difficulty speaking when I was younger, as I'd been silenced a lot and there was so much backlog and complexity ... I would often be "gobsmacked", the words simply would not form. I was studying at uni, so I knew a lot of BIG words and theories, but there was simply too much going for me personally, to express my own feelings and circumstances easily and vocally.

Sadly, the many significant failures in the many services have motivated my style of advocacy. I have tried to make the best of things, but the consequences and "harms by the system" need to be recognised. Also the limited time of the clinical model, may simply be too short for many people, as by the time the person can relax enough to feel trust, they sense that there is not sufficient time to unpack things intelligibly, and they need to start wrapping things up.

It was great to read that you also love talking and listening to people, and have your own interests. So maybe your "mutism" is a response to the inadequacies and disjointedness in the systems you encountered.

Tbh, My time writing on the forum, has helped me gradually work through my issues verbally, but it has taken a LONG time, as in 10 years. I am only now being able to verbalise in real life in "the now" when dealing with challenges. My being silenced had been very strong.

I hope you find a way to open up and share with all sorts of people and BE RESPECTED and live a full life.

@MrsSK I have found Neuroscience and Polyvagal theory worthwhile.

@jsrpp love your suggestions

Welcome to you all.

gently bently

Apple

Totally understandable. It’s hard to do observe the wall and guide yourself through the exploration. That is why people need a guide in this process. It’s unfortunate that we can’t share any details even if you want to help. Like i said i wish o could have a chat with you!