I broke..i broke down

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you're going through. It sounds like things have been really difficult lately, and I'm glad you've taken the step to post here and connect with others.

Please know that you're welcome to continue reaching out in this space for support and connection. You don't have to carry this on your own.

I also want to gently remind you that SANE services are not designed to provide crisis support. If you're feeling at risk of suicide, struggling to stay safe, or need immediate support, please contact:

• 000 for emergency police, ambulance, or emergency services

• Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7)

• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7)

• 13YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7, for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Beyond Blue also offers a free telephone and online counselling service which is available 24/7 for everyone in Australia, if you just want to chat about how you're feeling.

1300 224 636

Talk to a counsellor - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue

Thank you again for posting. Please keep reaching out here and letting the community know how you're going. We're glad you've connected with us.

Thank you,

Aegis

Hi @damagedgoods, please try to see it's not a matter of what's wrong with you, rather what happened to you.

Have you had any professional support for your trauma? Recovery and healing of the "damage" is certainly possible.

You have a supportive community here, and there are other peer support communities online e.g. https://supportgroup.mhfa.org.au/trauma-and-ptsd-support-group

Perhaps have a look at https://www.phoenixaustralia.org/your-recovery/helping-yourself/ and let us know what you think.

Ive had lots of support the amount of counsellors that ive gone thru, not because of myself but because id have someone an then they would leave, an then id be put with someone new and so having to do that so many times over, let's just say that the reoccurring triggers seem to like to make a nice little home for themselves.. so I walked away from seeing someone, i have been a victim of 5 domestic violence relationships all ended badly so never have I really you could say that i ever did help w any of them. Apart from that ive struggled w substance abuse, and ive always found myself alone. Never have I ever got to really be felt by anyone what it is to be loved by someone else. Alone is what all I have been and all that I have ever known.

I have no friends, no life no love life i have nothing.. im a loser 😔

Im so lost within myself, life and finding it hard to find a reason anymore to want to get out of bed. I feel ugly, i dont know how to or where to start to fix anything I know I need to start with myself, but I dont even know who iam haven't been able too since 2019 my first DV. Im struggling..

Hi @damagedgoods

It sounds like you've experienced an enormous amount of hurt, particularly through the domestic violence you've survived and the repeated changes in counsellors when you've tried to seek support. Having to repeatedly rebuild trust and revisit painful experiences with someone new can be incredibly exhausting.

I hear how deeply these experiences have affected your sense of self and left you feeling alone and unsure where to begin. However, experiencing abuse does not make you a loser or diminish your worth. You deserved safety, care and respect in those relationships, and you continue to deserve those things now.

You don't have to figure out who you are or how to rebuild your life all at once. Given everything you've experienced, it makes sense that finding a starting point feels overwhelming. I hope you can recognise that reaching out and expressing what you're going through is itself a meaningful step.

Take gentle care

SunsetSunrise✨🌻