Living with a partner with BP2

I have been with my husband for 28 years and during this time he has had several hypomanic episodes, usually triggered by workplace stressors. His condition was not well managed and as he is medical himself it seems to be a barrier to him receiving and following desired treatment. Most times the episodes have lasted 3-6 weeks and have been managed with lowering stressors and medication. Up until recently he had never taken a mood stabiliser. He then started on meds [edited by moderator] for his ADHD.

The past 2 years he has had two protracted hypomanic episodes of 5 - 6 months each time. During this time he has been irritable, defensive, self absorbed, irrational, has had impulsive spending, lies about his whereabouts and his spending and has lived out of the home with very little interest in our family and kids. It has been absolutely horrendous. Both times, he claims that he does not have BP but that it is the relationship that is causing his mood disturbance. He has effectively excluded me from his management plan, refused to attend therapy and has been in complete denial of his condition. He seems to pop out the other side of his hypomania very sheepishly come back on line as a family member and expects that to be the end of it. I am extremely concerned by the recent episodes being longer, more directed at me and with a flavour of anything I question or raise as an issue being considered ‘controlling’ and ‘intrusive’. During this time he has also been self medicating with alcohol and other medications. In addition to his BP meds and his ADHD meds. I cannot live like this any longer and I would like to leave but also feel bad that I can no longer support him without being seriously thrown under the bus. He blames me for everything and takes almost zero accountability for his actions. I fear his BP is getting worse or that there are some more serious changes to his cognition, mood and thinking that is causing these protracted episodes with very poor insight. I am very concerned about how his behaviour is going to play out. I would love some help / advice or insights please…