kicked out by my dad, unsure how to feel

Hey all,

Recently just last week I got kicked out of the house by my dad because simply, I didn't want to follow him blindly, I didn't want to do blind obedience. Now, when we went to our new place 2 years ago, he assured me he wouldn't kick me out since my name would be on the rental lease, but then last week, he said that he was going to kick me out, and when I asked about the rental lease he said he would remove my name from it.

I've help out with the bills and everything so much, given up so much for this family yet I get kicked out. I feel so backstabbed and used after all the sacrifices that I've done.

At the moment I'm staying with a friend and working to get a new rental with the help of my mum, but this entire week I've been dealing with just such saddness.

I love my dad, I really do, I would tell him every day how much I loved him despite the arguments or things that may occur, and now that I'm now longer welcome to what was once our home, I feel so saddened, I feel a great loss since I want to love, I want to love my dad and it took me 6+ years to finally repair the relationship between me and my mum since I've just had such a bad childhood growing up with so nuch things happening.

I'm not sure how to process this or what to do, should I reach out to him or something, say hi or something?

I want to love, but inside I'm also angered, because all of this pain is caused by him, I was so close to getring a job and everything lining up, saving money and such, helping with the family, and now I've been kicked to the curb, 100 steps back etc.

I really feel like I need a psychologist because this is just so much for me, does anyone know how gp referrals or something work, I think for me the only things keeping me here are the meds, my mum and God as I just keep praying for something.

Please, if someone can help me just understand a bit of how to feel or process this, it would help so much, as I often find myself crying when talking to my brother who I miss so much, who I would hug every day and tell him how much I love him.

Thank you,

Cozy