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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Hi everyone,

I’m new here. I’ve known deep down that something was completely wrong for decades, but I never knew exactly what it was. I always highly suspected cPTSD because of severe childhood trauma.

When a therapist finally brought up Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) to me last year, it terrified me so much that I literally ran away from therapy and didn't go back for 8 months. But now, I have been formally diagnosed with both DID with co-con and cPTSD.

Honestly? It is such a huge, massive relief. It is so validating to know that I was right all along—I wasn't crazy, and I wasn't making it up.

It’s been a long, painful road to get here. My very first therapist years ago completely dismissed me and told me "nothing was wrong" with me. The third time I built up the courage to reach out for help, I knew I needed a proper psychologist, but they just handed me a standard counsellor instead. To make it worse, that counsellor just wanted to focus on discussing my kids' needs, completely ignoring my own severe trauma and what I was going through inside.

Even though the diagnosis is a relief, I’m still really struggling with it. I don't feel like I have "multiple people" with different names and ages living inside me like you see online. For me, it just feels like different "modes" take over. I have to mask as chatty and bubbly to get through daily life, but underneath it all, I am completely exhausted, easily triggered, and I just want to be left the fuck alone by everyone.

Just wanted to post here to see if anyone else experienced that massive wave of relief when they finally got answers, or if anyone else relates to the quiet, hidden side of DID where you just want to isolate and hide away.

Thanks for reading.

4 replies

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In response to: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Re: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Hi @crazychickengrl

Congratulations on receiving answers

But try not to cling to the diagnosis. The next doctor, psychologist etc is free to disagree. Even other members in your current team

So having answers for yourself is as important as for anyone else

(I have similar on my Differential Diagnosis list)

In response to: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Re: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Hello@crazychickengrl

I have undergone the same thing. The last 4-5 years I was seeing a doctor for all over body aches, fatigue, toilet issues and nothing physically could be found until I had a full blown melt down this year and saw a new doctor who sent me to a psychologist who then told me it was trauma. I was in shock because my whole life I have been told I have anxiety and depression. Only to be told that the anxiety and depression is due to the underlying trauma. I was pissed because I wish it was picked up a long time ago. It's not an easy thing to go through. I was told by my psychologist that not a lot of GPs are trauma informed.

In response to: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Re: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

@crazychickengrl

Maybe the DID diagnosis is a bit of over-reach. I take all diagnoses with a hefty grain of Pink Himalayan salt, tho mostly have a low salt diet ... lol

The experts are only slowly getting their heaads around CPTSD. Its UBER COMPLEX, cos of each individual's unique trauma history.

Maybe the Internal Family Systems model, or Schema therapy ... are more appropriate concepts for you, rather than going down the hyped Hollywood or strict DID path. idk ... just been thinking about all those things for a while. I reflected on them for myself for decades before CPTSD became a thingummy. DO I have this? Or that?

gently bently

Apple

In response to: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Re: Topic Title: Finally diagnosed with DID & cPTSD after decades of being dismissed (Intro)

Hi @crazychickengrl,

The other replies rightly reflect the complexity of mental health diagnoses and how they vary between psychs because it's basically subjective not objective.

However, it's possible to have DID with full awareness of all alters - it's often their job to hide to protect you from the sort of reaction you had.

You may find browsing resources like these may help clarify things for you.

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