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How do you manage just being the "floater"

outlanderSenior Contributor20 Sept 2026, 11:16 am AEST

How do you manage just being the "floater"

Hey all

How do you guys just deal with being a floater person in regards to any relationship you might have? i seem to know alot of people but even when i form what could be classed as a friendship im always the last one to know whats happening, get invited anywhere, and usually the last person anyone wants around unless they need something

ive recently formed some new relationships and again they say they want to get to know me or whatever but i end up being the one alone with no one actually caring

i get excited when i get invites to somewhere but it usually just ends up being a lecture or i end up just being along and burden even when im just sitting there

ive isolated myself even more because i feel like people just invite me out of obligation or because they need something or someone but im never anyones first choice or a choice they really want around

9 replies

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In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

AppleblossomSenior Contributor20 Sept 2026, 1:21 pm AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

@outlander Sorry you feel that way. My socialising is a big learning for me. I dont have easy answers, but I am persevering. I keep trying this or that approach. I am able to laugh more these days and have been making a serious lol ... study of comedy. Somehow I am more light hearted, but the depths and pain are still there, and do haunt e a bit. So its an up & down ride...

I just have to say, my heart leapt quietly when I saw your pic on the forum. Have'nt seen you in ages.

Gentle hugs

Love Apple

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Nala2022Moderator20 Sept 2026, 1:43 pm AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Hi @outlander, thank you for sharing what you’ve been experiencing

It sounds really painful to feel like you’re often the last person included or thought of, especially when you’re excited to build new friendships and then end up feeling alone or like a burden. I can understand why that would leave you feeling hurt and make you want to withdraw from people.

It sounds like you really want genuine connections where you feel wanted and valued, rather than feeling like you’re only there when someone needs something. I hope you’re able to find some of that connection and understanding here on the Forums too and you're definitely not alone in experiencing this 💛

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Lapis_AnteaterPeer Guide20 Sept 2026, 4:40 pm AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Hi @outlander

Being the floater friend sucks. It makes it so hard to build new relationship and trust that things will turn out different. What makes you think that other don’t actually care about you? It’s understandable to want to isolate yourself. Do you have anyone you’d want to make a connection with? Sometimes taking the first step and inviting someone out gives you control and allows you to know that people are interested in you. I was the floater friend throughout my early years of school. It wasn’t until high school that I found people I genuinely click with. I still feel like a burden sometimes but it’s definitely easier to ignore these days. I hope things get easier for you soon.

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

outlanderSenior Contributor24 Sept 2026, 9:02 am AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

hey @Appleblossom really good to see you too!

all my friends are really paid supports but i have a good relationship with them so maybe one day there will be some changes

i know im not the easiest person to be around

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

outlanderSenior Contributor24 Sept 2026, 9:03 am AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

hi @Lapis_Anteater

nice to meet you

ive tried alot of things including sporting activities (im unable to do these now due to disability) but didnt really make any friends, tred craft groups, groups for young people, joined a gym but none have worked out. i tried making friends at work but nothing really progressed there either so its been tough.

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

outlanderSenior Contributor24 Sept 2026, 9:04 am AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

hi @Nala2022 and thank you for replying

its quite a difficult and lonley place to be in

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 Sept 2026, 9:55 am AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

@outlander Yes, the world is sadly becoming a more lonely place for many. Ironic, with all the talk of connection. I know you have put a lot of effort in various directions, activity-wise and socially.

I have known the feeling of being invisible a lot. Being on the forum was one of the first times I felt seen.

I hope the support you have does help you through, and eventually a sense of community becomes part of your life.

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Lapis_AnteaterPeer Guide25 Sept 2026, 7:25 pm AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Hi @outlander

It’s nice meeting you too!

It sounds like you’ve tried really hard to find connections with other people. I hope you find something soon that gives you a sense of connection, even if it is just through this forum. You are not alone.

In response to: How do you manage just being the "floater"

StaceB5New Contributor26 Sept 2026, 7:10 pm AEST

Re: How do you manage just being the "floater"

Thanks for sharing I actually feel quite similar. I know a lot of different people and have friendly enough conversations with them but as someone who chooses not to drink I feel it can hold back my ability to socialise at the next level. I also play lots of sports which I enjoy and love the people around these clubs but find it quite transient from a friendship perspective because each season of sport is half a year and then I move on to the next one. I also find socialising at work really challenging because people love drama too much and I don’t. I’m not sure this helps you outlander but just wanted to know you are not alone in feeling like the outsider bouncing around.

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