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Self sabotaging relationships and trying to find hope for the future

seekinghealingNew Contributor13 Sept 2026, 8:51 pm AEST

Self sabotaging relationships and trying to find hope for the future

Recently, I self sabotaged a relationship that was very dear to me which has triggered a deep depression and made me ruminate on other relationships that I have self sabotaged when someone has showed that they cared for me. It has been very painful to realise that my drive for protecting myself in these situations is so overwhelming that I will actually sabotage my own happiness and cause more pain rather than giving my trust to another person. I am trying to find hope for the future but know that some relationships can't be repaired.

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In response to: Self sabotaging relationships and trying to find hope for the future

hopeful_hannahModerator14 Sept 2026, 6:27 am AEST

Re: Self sabotaging relationships and trying to find hope for the future

Good morning @seekinghealing (love your username :)

WELCOME to the SANE forums. Thank you for showing up and sharing so openly and honestly.

That's not always easy to do. I'm sure others in this beautiful community will jump in to welcome you and offer support.

I'm sorry to read how you are feeling. I want you to know you're not alone. Please try and be kind to yourself, relationships can be challenging, we're all just human trying our best. It's so good that you are reaching out for support and connection here. Sometimes sharing what's going on helps relieve the pressure valve a little bit.

Have you got any support in place at all? SANE offers individual support through the Recovery Club, you might like to take advantage of the free one-on-one sessions and have a chat with someone who will be there to hold space for you. Here is the registration page: Welcome to SANE’s Recovery Club

I'm sending you all my best this morning.

We are glad you're here with us.

hopeful_hannah Xx

In response to: Self sabotaging relationships and trying to find hope for the future

Misty7Senior Contributor14 Sept 2026, 12:21 pm AEST

Re: Self sabotaging relationships and trying to find hope for the future

Hi@seekinghealing

Sorry to hear that you are experiencing depression and rumination. You could try some 54321 grounding to help bring you to the present moment. There is a reason why you pull away from relationships probably rooted in past experiences in childhood. Have you had therapy for this? I recommend going to your GP and getting help for this.

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