AutumnLeaves_86New Contributor
Intense Cumulative Grief After A Breakup
I’m experiencing very intense grief after a breakup, which my grief counsellor believes is cumulative grief and connected to the passing of my Dad 8 months earlier. If you’re not familiar, the overall idea of cumulative grief is that it reopens the wounds of previous losses, so it’s like a layered combination of all your previous grief. It’s the first time I’ve experienced this and it’s honestly hit me in a way I never could have anticipated. I think the first two weeks after the break up I was functioning purely in a state of numb shock. By the third week though, this had become proper grief and very strong depression. It seems to have gradually gotten progressively worse as time goes on. It’s been 2 months since the break up and some days I really struggle to get out of bed and can only motivate myself to do the bare minimum of showering and eating. To make this worse, I find myself criticizing myself for not coping well enough, despite the fact that I know I’m going through a hard time and should be kinder to myself. I have a grief counsellor and psychologist for support, but no close friends or family nearby. The hardest part is that I felt I’d spent 8 months after my Dad died gradually getting better and now I feel worse than ever. Unfortunately I think it’s something that’s going to take quite a long time to recover from. One of the other hardest parts is going through something like cumulative grief and not having other people you know who are also going through it. So are there other people on here who have experienced or are currently experiencing cumulative grief? I’m not expecting any quick fix magic solutions, but I mostly just want to know I’m not alone in feeling this way.
