I don’t know what I’m feeling. Can someone help identify what it might be?

Hi@wayward24wind

Sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time. I'm not a doctor but is possible you might experiencing bipolar disorder. See if the symptoms match the description in this link.

https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/bipolar/

hi @wayward24wind,

It could be something, or it could be more about adjusting to adult life - existential issues like finding meaning and purpose, understanding yourself (all lifelong learning exercises), perhaps with anxiety about the world and the future thrown in. At 19 it can be a difficult time in your life.

I'd be very wary of searching for and leaning into diagnostic labels, especially over the Internet, without consulting professionals. It takes an experienced professional time to listen intently to your full story and gauge the level of severity of what you are feeling - "normal" life isn't stress free and amazingly happy, everybody has ups and downs. Even then, psychologists can get it wrong because the human brain is complex and not well understood - it's not like normal medicine where they can run pathology tests to come up with an exact diagnosis. It's very subjective, not objective.

How is your sleep? Chronic lack of it can cause mental health symptoms.

Perhaps talking to the University counsellor would be a good start.

You can also call/webchat Kids Helpline (they have different levels up to 25 years old), or drop into a HeadSpace centre.

If it's impacting your daily life, you may consider speaking to your GP. They can check for any physical issues (e.g. low levels of certain vitamins, thyroid issues etc) which can also cause mental health symptoms and a Mental Health Plan referral to a psychologist.

So I'd suggest starting with the basics first. Having said that, if your symptoms are seriously impacting your life it's better to get a proper assessment from a good clinical psychologist - the earlier the better.

It sounds sort of similar to myself. Can I ask you a couple of questions? Are you social? Or do you find it particularly draining being social? What’s your sleeping like??

@wayward24wind

It sounds like your ability to function is been affected. I know your uni is important to you but your health is way more important. You can always defer your studies should you wish. There are support services for young people experiencing mental health issues:

https://headspace.org.au/

https://au.reachout.com/

@Esjay123 

Sure. To answer your questions, I’m not particularly social, but I usually go see friends when the opportunity comes up. I feel drained after big gatherings or seeing too many people within a short space of time. But generally, I comfortably prefer my own company, I only feel lonely occasionally. My sleep varies a lot, but most of the time I’ll be in bed close to midnight or past it. Sometimes I’ll be up a lot later finishing a uni task that’s due the next day—and I won’t even finish it most of the time. My sleep has gotten progressively worse.

How about you?

@Radder 

Thanks for your response. I agree with not labelling myself until I get a proper diagnosis. I don’t know if it’s me adjusting to adult life, it is possible, and I do spend a lot of time in my head contemplating aspects of my life. I do have a half-formed plan on what I want to do once I finish uni. I fully understand that it’s not possible for someone to feel happy most of the time and that I might be experiencing normal ups and downs of life. With my sleep, it’s gotten progressively worse as this year has went on. I think I have a sleep deficit from staying up late or all night on some occasions to finish large assignments and small tasks. I’m not working at all and that I come from a lower-income household, so it’s not likely I’ll get professional help soon. Would you be able to suggest any things that I can do for myself now to improve my situation?

@Misty7

Thanks. Bipolar disorder sounds similar to what I’m experiencing, but I cannot be 100% sure. When I’m low, my motivation is very weak, my self-esteem is low, I snap at people and I do find myself crying or feeling sad for no reason. Sometimes the crying lasts an extended amount of time. Hypomania seems close to what I feel after my low moods. I don’t do anything too crazy, but I feel confident and maybe a bit arrogant—I have a higher internal opinion of myself. I do get more talkative and act silly, jumping from lots of topics. Sometimes it only takes one small thing to break my happy mood, and then I get overly sad or agitated.

Also, I’m still able to function mostly okay, just not the absolute best. My out-of-nowhere mood fluctuations make it very difficult to be consistent in my work at uni. During this semester, I neglected two major assignments just because of a progressively decreasing mood over the span of a month—I was apathetic, yet afraid and didn’t have the confidence in myself to complete the tasks. I ended up handing those two assignments incomplete and very late. Inside, I know I have the potential to do a lot better, but it’s just so hard when I’m like this.

Thanks for replying @wayward24wind

While there may be mental health issues or neurodiversity involved, it's also possible you may be just spending too much time in your head worrying about things and focussing on negatives.

My approach is to have goals, plans and view the future with hope, but until I need to enact them I try not to worry/live in the future. Life is now, in the present moment. I try to keep the basics right - healthy eating, exercise, sleep (a big one), and some time with good friends. In other words, getting on with living life not thinking about life. Counting the positives, not negatives, listing strengths not weaknesses.

I try to focus intently on the task at hand, and take time each day for mindfulness and grounding.

• https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/support-toolkit/techniques-and-guides/finding-relief-through-grounding-techniques

In addition to all the above, you could try free online self-help, e.g.

• https://www.medicarementalhealthcheckin.gov.au
• https://www.sane.org/recovery-club
• https://www.mindspot.org.au

If you are still concerned about your mental health or its causing daily distress, your GP should be able to refer you to a free public mental health service. Or drop in without a referral to a:

• Headspace Centre: https://headspace.org.au/welcome-to-headspace-centres/
• Medicare Mental Health Centre (outside of VIC): https://www.health.gov.au/our-work/medicare-mental-health
• Mental Health and Wellbeing Local or Hub (VIC): https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/mental-health-wellbeing-locals or https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/mental-health-and-wellbeing-hubs

Please let us know what you decide and how it progresses - feedback is always appreciated.

Post deleted

Hi@wayward24wind

You are welcome. Uni becomes very difficult when you have an undiagnosed condition. Are you able to see your course coordinator or student advisor regarding your course. It's better to pull out sooner rather than ending up with course fees and possible grades you won't be happy with and you'll have to repeat them again. You are still very young. I would focus on my mental health and get all the support you need. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to get help.