Carers under 30...

Hello @H3art

Lovely to 'meet' you. I am an old girl. Having to deal with secret women's business old. What are your hobbies?

@outlander are your gums still giving you grief? Good news from the secret women's specialist today, I don't need surgery in that department. Next stop will be getting my skin scrutinized - have a couple of spots that need checking out.

@H3art As carers we often neglect ourselves and I am getting a thorough once over after not looking after myself properly.

Day went ok pet. Met a friend for lunch and had a good natter, after that had specialist visit. Have just put a chook in the oven as we are having visitors out for tea. How about you @outlander?

Yikes @outlander not the car too ... 😬

@outlander when it comes to cars it's never $50 or $20 😬😬😬

HI @Former-Member I am a performer. Struggling with that at the moment because my partner (who I care for) is also an actress and I get a little stuck because she really struggles when I go to auditions, while she's sick she's been comparing us more and more.

I have been trying to make sure I maintain some of my things like going to dance classes, which I used to love as a kid and now use as my exercise and just chilling out a bit on days where she has work and I don't.

I definitely need to enforce looking after myself a bit more because I have been struggling a lot recently. I actually just quit a job and this all hit in the middle of my transition period so I don't really have that much work which is good because I can have more time to myself but bad because of the financial stress of it all.

@H3art

Sounds like you are having a bit of a rough day - there are a lot of issues at play that you have identified here and a lot that other carers identify with.

1. Unpleasant comments and comparisons (this can be driven by a lot of factors including grief and low self esteem)

2. The need to maintain life as usual (both work and play) whilst struggling with their illness, when we feel disheartened or inadequate.

3. The need for self care

3. Financial stresses that illness can place us under.

Building our own resilience when our loved ones are unwell often seems like an impossible task. You mention that you are maintaining your physical health by going to dance classes and sometimes seeing a counsellor or pschologist to maintain our emotional health is needed too. Carers Australia is a good starting point, they offer a number of free counselling sessions. Being a carer is stressful and your GP could also do a mental health plan for you (mention this when booking as there are medicare requirements) which will allow you 10 psychology sessions that are medicare rebateable - some psychologists will bulk bill if you have one of these.

Being realistic about finances can be tough; separating needs from wants, watching what we buy - ensuring that we eat the food we buy and do not waste any can be a task in itself. Checking out "frugal living" on the internet is a start.

I will tag you in a couple of threads that might be of help to you.

Darcy