Carers under 30...

hi @Tiggeroo

im 20 and i started caring for my nan when i was 16 and she was in a wheelchair and needed full time oxygen. she passsed away going on almost 2 years now, the first year must have been a complete blur!

im caring for my pop now, he has a few medical conditions and a weak foot so needs more monitoring and care now.

i was just wondering what your experiences are like? do you ever take a break? do you ever feel you need a break? what sort of stuff do you like to do in your spare time?

@Former-Member I feel for you on the loss of your nan, mine had alzeimers from an unfortunately young age and i lost her in late teens so i know how awful that is. *hugs*

so, what are my experiences like... i find it quite difficult to explain to people my own age what my life can be like, i mean when bipolar boy is travelling well, our life is fairly normal, we do the same stuff every young couple would, but when he is having a depressive episode, my life changes in the blink of an eye to carer mode and he takes all of my love, attention and energy.

i find i am tired... a lot... haha... caring for someone else is emotionally draining and as a result i get physically tired. I also work full time but luckily i have amazingly supportive mgmt above me and if i need to drop everything to go and sort out my partner, they are always accomodating.

i also find... and i dont know if this is because of being a carer or its just me... i am almost fearful of starting a family of my own. i love my partner dearly and i know we can/will make it through any challenge, but i feel like i already carry so much responsibiity that i dont want to add on any more with children. i honestly dont know if this is a feeling that will change, i hope so but the older i get, the more confident i feel i dont want the added resposibility.

For fun, i play basketball, and i LOVE it! i am also a snake catcher so that gets the adrenaline pumping and allows me to volunteer away from my partner. i never "take a break" from my partner as such... but there are good periods where as i said im not really a carer, just his girlfriend, and that feels like a break haha!

What about you? what do you do to give yourself a break?

xx

Tigs

Hi again @Former-Member,

I was a carer for my dad, from the time I was 18 to 21. At the time, I was also doing Uni full-time AND had three part-time jobs. It can be so hard to be a carer.

I definitely took time out from caring. I was lucky, in that for the time I had to care for him, my dad was fairly mobile so it didn't involve me having to be there 24 hours a day. But with so much else going on in my life, I found myself utterly overwhelmed with anxiety and stress a lot of the time, I let my uni work slip, I wasn't enjoying my work as much, I lost touch with friends - it was a pretty awful time.

If I could go back and give myself some advice- it would 100% be to take time out to take care of myself. Do things that contribute to my wellbeing and enrichment of my life. That could be anything from making sure every weekend or at least twice a week I was catching up with friends for coffee. Taking time out daily - even if it's an hour or so to do something JUST for me, that wasn't in service of my family, work, uni or anything else. Just for my enjoyment. It means being more structured in life for sure, but it definitely would have made a difference for me.

I hope that helps 🙂

hi @Tiggeroo @Former-Member @Former-Member @CherryBomb

how are you all going today?

i was pretty bad this morning ( i deal with sexual abuse and a dog attack PTSD, Severe GAD, severe Dpepression, health anxiety and social phobia) but then i went and fed the horses and took 2 hours to clean out their paddock, we have 4 of them, then i continued my caring job then i took my sister to the movies to watch the new beauty and the beast

my me time im not too sure yet as i went to the moves today..

i use to but not anymore, its just more work i have to do unless i actually get abit of help with them or get a ride on a good horse which isnt very often @Former-Member