Unknown userMember
Carers under 30...
Hi everyone.
Im just wondering if theres any young carers on here?
Im 20 and would love to have people around this age bracket to talk to.
I love and respect my elders too though 💖
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Carers under 30...
1934 replies
In response to: Carers under 30...
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
just moving this over to here, hope you dont mind.
it is really hard @Smc Im currently sitting in the lounge room listening to pop harp on about so many things and making me out to be a bad carer, im expecting a msg when they leave or them to 'talk' to me about how im not doing enough and this and that.I would probably classify for DSP at the rate (Anxiety, depression, BPD, C-PTSD along with chronic suicidal thoughts and just starting to get my sh under control myself. ) but i like working and study and trying to have a normal life too even though my life is far from normal for an average 22 yr old. i guess that makes me appear relatively normal and coping becasue i dont look depressed or have that usual stigmatised of dark and dreary sort of thing. I dont have the support of family, or friends, or many mh professionals, only the psychologist but limited to 10 sessions and the forum. It mightve been helpful if i had a freind or 2 not to talk about these things but jsut to go out for coffee but i dont make a very good friend.i use humour alot to but when im lower i barely can fake a smile.Sometimes i dont even feel like a 'real' carer, like my work doesnt seem like work to anyone else so it makes it hard to even say 'im a carer' or access carer support type of things.
it is really hard @Smc Im currently sitting in the lounge room listening to pop harp on about so many things and making me out to be a bad carer, im expecting a msg when they leave or them to 'talk' to me about how im not doing enough and this and that.I would probably classify for DSP at the rate (Anxiety, depression, BPD, C-PTSD along with chronic suicidal thoughts and just starting to get my sh under control myself. ) but i like working and study and trying to have a normal life too even though my life is far from normal for an average 22 yr old. i guess that makes me appear relatively normal and coping becasue i dont look depressed or have that usual stigmatised of dark and dreary sort of thing. I dont have the support of family, or friends, or many mh professionals, only the psychologist but limited to 10 sessions and the forum. It mightve been helpful if i had a freind or 2 not to talk about these things but jsut to go out for coffee but i dont make a very good friend.i use humour alot to but when im lower i barely can fake a smile.Sometimes i dont even feel like a 'real' carer, like my work doesnt seem like work to anyone else so it makes it hard to even say 'im a carer' or access carer support type of things.
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
SmcSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
Hi @outlander. The tag worked, I missed it in the notifications.
Given how thin on the ground support is for you, I'd suggest DSP would be worth trying for. It can be a bit of a full on process in itself, because Centrelink can be hard to convince. They have to be confident that the disability is both long term (3+ years at least) and prevents you from working or studying at anything over very part time hours. In your circumstances, I'd think part-time would possibly be all you could aim at anyway? There's officially a lot of encouragement for DSP recipients to study or work part time, but the payment isn't conditional on doing so.
I found the DSP decision hard to take when it came through, because I want to get my life off "pause" and start getting somewhere, but I had to admit that even if everything with my parents and our daughter resolved itself tomorrow, I'd probably still need the 3 years as recovery time. What I've found is that it does free me up both to take care of myself and to be a carer. When our Older Daughter went in for surgery on Thursday, she was at the hospital all day. Pension meant that there was enough money to pay for a proper sit down lunch for myself and Hubby, an afternoon cuppa at the hospital cafeteria, and a takeaway dinner to eat with our Younger Daughter. These are little things in the scheme of it all, but it does reduce the stress somewhat.
I find myself kinda stumped for friends to have relax time with too. Often my Hubby and my sister are it. Sometimes the best friends for carers are other carers who can take the "Hot Chocolate" thread attitude- you can mention if you've had a bad day but unless you want to go off somewhere to talk about it, you don't have to say anything more. So am wondering if there's a young carers group of any sort in your area? I'd definitely encourage you to look into carer support of some sort.
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
@outlander
did you family or anyone said anything to you about yesterday , or say anything about stepping in or giving you advice of any kind ??
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
hi @Shaz51
no, no ones said anything to me as yet. they probably wont but will continue with their judgemental looks any time i see them
no, no ones said anything to me as yet. they probably wont but will continue with their judgemental looks any time i see them
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
hey @Smc
while DSP looks enticing i dont think its something i want to go on. i actually like and want to study and things and in a sense i am capable. ive already got a small second job to get me out of the house even if its not much. i dont really have time for another part time job with pop, the horses, the smaller job and other family responsibilities . I get paid from the government for carers so at least that is better than no pay at all....
i dont have anyone to relax with, even with family its all roles and responsibilities i honestly feel like im missing out on alot but if i was to give up my carers role and start a life i wouldnt even know where to start because being that carer or role taker etc has been way of life for as long as i can remember. it also makes me very socially awkward to be around becasue i struggle to comminucate with people.
i speak to headspace every now and then when i can get sessions but not really involving my work as a carer,there just seems to be so many issues that i barely no where to start with them either.
while DSP looks enticing i dont think its something i want to go on. i actually like and want to study and things and in a sense i am capable. ive already got a small second job to get me out of the house even if its not much. i dont really have time for another part time job with pop, the horses, the smaller job and other family responsibilities . I get paid from the government for carers so at least that is better than no pay at all....
i dont have anyone to relax with, even with family its all roles and responsibilities i honestly feel like im missing out on alot but if i was to give up my carers role and start a life i wouldnt even know where to start because being that carer or role taker etc has been way of life for as long as i can remember. it also makes me very socially awkward to be around becasue i struggle to comminucate with people.
i speak to headspace every now and then when i can get sessions but not really involving my work as a carer,there just seems to be so many issues that i barely no where to start with them either.
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
SmcSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
@outlander, if you're getting carers' pension then that's fine. 🙂
So your really big thing by the sound of it is needing to find the right place to talk about what you need, instead of always focusing on what others needs?
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
Theres that and actually working out what it is that i need @Smc and also working through what is currently happening here with him and how to help pop as well as myself. Sorry thats a little vague but i cant quite talk abou that part here
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
SmcSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
Is OK @outlander if there's things you need to keep confidential. 🙂
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: Carers under 30...
Thanks @Smc it sucks sometimes cause u guys would probably be able to help 😞
Hows your day been?
Im currently awaiting to see if anything in my foots broken
Hows your day been?
Im currently awaiting to see if anything in my foots broken
In response to: Re: Carers under 30...
Unknown userMember
Re: Carers under 30...
Hi @outlander
At one stage we got some business advice and were told that the best way to run things was to copy plans like Maccas use. Essentially to tackle things as you would if you went into the office.
1. Write down everything that needs to be done, how often - perhaps ask for Pop's input as to what he expects.
2. Make a job description, list the jobs, when they are to be done and who does them (even if it is you). This could include things like bed linen changing/ laundry days, banking/shopping days, house cleaning schedule, bin nights etc. If down the track if Pop gets help with my aged care, names on the 'who does what' can be changed.
3. Have a weekly, fortnightly or monthly planner (whatever works for you) to put jobs and appts on.
This might help with whatever problem you are having 😀.
