Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

Unknown userMember24 Mar 2017, 2:37 pm AEDT

PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

So i was a carer for my nan for about 2 yrs maybe more and we were really close ans when i began caring for her became closer who passed away last year.
I wasnt really able to grieve at the time as i was tyring to hold my pop whom im now a carer for my mum together and making sure everyone needs were met.
But now its really hitting me.hard. and im having so many regrets about what i should have done whati should have said what i should have changed. I feel selfish alot of the time because every now and then i would go out with a friend and i really regret it now.

My nan had many illnesses including cancer so i went to all of her appointments and made sure she was ok.

It hurts me everyday. I miss her so much.
I get alot of flash back esp of the year before like Christmas and birthdays easter and all the rest of the occasions.
She was in a wheelchair and home oxygen 24/7 as she had bad lungs from copd.
So it did make it hard for her to go out when she was getting worse
I get flashbacks of the night i stayed at their house and i heard my pop completley break down and found my nan slumped in the wheelchair in the bathroom as thats how she got around
She was so weak and couldnt even hold herself up so i had to while calling am ambulance calling my who was 10 min drive away and help pop keep it together. It hurts me every single day.
I also have the last memory of my nan in the hospital amd as i was leaving she gave me a little smile and a wave and off we went.
She died 2am that next morning

13 replies

11 - 13 of 13

1 2

In response to: PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

Unknown userMember25 Mar 2017, 5:30 pm AEDT

Re: PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

its nearly at my nans second year of passing in april so it gets even more harder then. but i miss her everyday and i regret so many things @Determined

In response to: Re: PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 Mar 2017, 5:46 pm AEDT

Re: PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

@Former-Member

In the early stages I also had many regrets, some of these have faded others havn't, what I can say now with the passing of time is that some of my regrets were over exaggerated (in my mind) and were not helpful for me. This is a very hard and personal subject that only you can answer but if you know in your heart that you were there for your Nan and did everything you could at the time it will make it easier to get past these regrets, and it seems to me from your story that you were close to your Nan and a huge support for her, practically as you are so young, there should be no regrets in that.

In response to: Re: PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

Unknown userMember25 Mar 2017, 6:20 pm AEDT

Re: PLEASEcarers guilt and grief DO NOT READ IF YOUR TRIGGERED BY GRIEF OR MEDICAL CONDITIONS. I DONT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE

thanks @Determined

i still regret so many things but maybe after a while it might die down abit

11 - 13 of 13

1 2