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Shoulder to Shoulder: Veteran Families

Loneliness and social isolation

Loneliness and social isolation

Loneliness

I am medically retired early from my ADF job. My injuries are unseen. I appear ‘quite’ normal. Most people my age are working. I feel so alone. I do a small amount of volunteer work, just an hour or so per week for community connections, but it is with much older people. It is so hard. I’ve visited the local community rsl hub but I haven’t found my people - they’re all a few decades older than me. Weekdays are so lonely. I feel so ashamed of not working, but the stuff in my head is so crippling. Does anyone else feel like that?

3 replies

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In response to: Loneliness and social isolation

Re: Loneliness and social isolation

Hi @AutumnHills

Just wanted to take a moment to welcome you to the community. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can hear how difficult things have been, the struggles when so much of your suffering is not visible to others, and how isolating that can feel. It can be really difficult to feel a sense of purpose when we are unable to work, too, which can be a heavy burden for sure. I'm glad you've found this space where you can reach out and connect with others and talk about what you're going through.

Feel free to jump into our social space to start chatting with others if you like -

Forums - Social space

In response to: Loneliness and social isolation

Re: Loneliness and social isolation

Welcome @AutumnHills

I totally get that loneliness and feeling lost. I’m working but I have a few mates who can’t and will probably never go back to work.

One of them just does heaps of free courses at TAFE. Because she’s a pensioner they are all free. She says it’s great because it gives her a routine and gets her out of the house and around other people. For her TAFE isn’t stressful because she is there by choice.

My other friend does a lot of walking and spends time in nature. Sometimes she takes my dog with her which is great for all concerned!

I hear you about the RSL - I’ve never felt comfortable there either. Remember you can explore other community groups too - men’s/women’s sheds, walking groups, photography club… whatever takes your fancy. Have you seen the new Veteran Wellbeing Hub has lots of links to different activities - veteran specific and general community.

https://www.veteranwellbeing.gov.au/

For me, I use parkrun as my way to connect with community. And no - you don’t have to run. It usually takes me about an hour to walk the 5km but they are a really welcoming group and volunteering also helps you connect with people. They aren’t really “new friends” but they are people who I’ve gotten to know and it’s nice to go and have people say hi to you and welcome you back.

In response to: Loneliness and social isolation

Re: Loneliness and social isolation

I could have written this myself! A lot of us in the same boat, I’m afraid. My situation is very similar. Medically retired with invisible injuries, and I don’t have much of a social life. I prefer solitude these days, however I experienced crippling loneliness for a long time. What got me feeling better was changing up my antidepressant medication after having reviews with my Dr & psychiatrist, more regular appointments with my psychologist, and I got into art. I made some connections with lovely people through the Veteran Art Community. You don’t need to be “good” at art to be involved. There’s really no such thing as we’re all creative in our way. I understand it’s not for everyone though. If you’re interested - have a look at the ANVAM website https://www.anvam.org.au/

There are veteran art meetups regularly in Canberra, Melbourne, and SE QLD.

It’s so good that you’re volunteering! It’s something I wanted to do but haven’t got there yet.

Do you have any thoughts on what kinds of activities would you like to do?

I hope that you’re feeling better soon. Things can and will get better - you’re not alone.

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