Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
hugbearNew Contributor
My best friend of 11 years ended our friendship 9 weeks ago. He wont answer 2 sms asking why. Usually i am ok but for some reason i cant stop crying today. I had to go somewhere we visited together and broke up. I dont want to be like this. I still see him and am ok but cant cope today
In response to: 11 year friendship finished not coping
AuntGlowModerator
I am so sorry this happened @hugbear. This all must be incredibly confusing for you... it's so hard when someone stops communicating and doesn't explain why. How you're feeling is more than understandable, it's a lot for the body and mind to adjust to. I wonder if their actions could be the result of some things we don't know about? 💛
I think @NightFury, @Captain24, @MissGremlin would be great people to talk about this with. 🥰
In the meantime, please use the space to process your thoughts and feelings as you need.
And please be kind to yourself - know that you're not alone (even if it feels that way right now). 🫶
In response to: 11 year friendship finished not coping
MissGremlinSenior Contributor
Hello @hugbear, I'm really sorry for what you're going through and I can understand how hard it is. I had a best friend of many years and in an instant she ended the friendship with no explanation. Not knowing can leave us questioning so much, whether we did something wrong or if there's something going on for them.
For me I tried to remind myself that I'd have good days and bad days, there were days that I just cried from missing all the moments we had together, then there was other days where I was ok. It takes time to process things and there's no right or wrong way of doing so.
Please be gentle with yourself, we're here for you ❤️.
In response to: 11 year friendship finished not coping
mourningbrightCasual Contributor
I understand this very well. My partner walked out on me after 30 years with nothing but "I think we're done".
Three friends who had been my ride or dies decided that because I was struggling, that they would just send me a text on the day of my Uncle's funeral to say they were withdrawing their friendship (there's more to it than that but that's my story for a different post). And my best mate, for whom I had been "best bitch" at his wedding, decided that because I couldn't explain properly that his former marriage of 1 year wasn't the same as losing a partner of 30 years (Only because I couldn't remember what life was life prior to 30 years, where if it had been 1 year I would have had an idea of what life had been like alone), he decided he wouldn't try to have a further discussion, when we were both sober, despite a 15 year friendship.
The only thing I can offer is that there is "your stuff" and there is "their stuff". You can't deal with their stuff. They might be totally wrong, there might be a spot of truth in their thoughts, but ultimately all you can do is focus on your stuff. Look to the others around you and get a sense of the joy they have in having you in their lives. They are the ones that will support you right now. The others? Wish them well on their journey and let them deal with their own stuff.
I hope you can find peace & support through this time.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
