Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

MoonGalSenior Contributor16 July 2026, 12:35 pm AEST

New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

Hi gang,

I'm having an uptick in anxiety, and there are moments when I spiral into a meltdown where my thinking is totally hijacked I am just peddling mentally and start feeling overwhelmed totally. It happens if something out of the usual routine in the house occurs. So, we engaged cleaners to help while I am recovering from a hip replacement (early May), they come once a fortnight (we will probably keep them on because it helps us both), they are supposed to arrive at 12 but yesterday they arrived at 11.30 and parked in the front yard, I was trying to get ready to go out to a medical appointment but my partner was home for them. I wasn't ready for them to be in the house. I rachetted up in anxiety with them sitting out there in their car, then they rang the bell 15 minutes early, so instead of 12 they wanted in at 11.45, I still wasn't fully dressed (that takes time as I am living with a few chronic pain conditions) my partner answered the door, I was in the bedroom, door closed so not a problem really - but I just went into a tail spin because "I wasn't 'ready'."

That's just a scenario that happened that was the trigger for me to lose it. I melted down, and projected everything (later) when I was talking to my partner AT the cleaners like if only THEY arrived when they should have I would have been alright.

I was going to call the cleaner manager and dictate to them they HAD to arrive and knock no earlier than 5 minutes to 12 but my lovely partner said that seemed more like a 'me problem' than a 'them problem', she said real life happens and things go awry - they sometimes also arrive late, like 12.15 or 12.30 because they have to get here from their job across town just before - traffic and weather of course makes a difference for them.

Anyways, I am wanting to think about ways to get on top of this not being 'fit' for real life (which is what my partner said) and I would like to have discussions about what you might do to stay on top of anxiety and meltdowns. I think I have been sequestered away inside the house for so long, my boundaries have escaped my skin to the edges of the house, I feel like anything that happens that I am not expecting spirals me into a squirrelly mess.

Even just talking about this is helping (and also spiking my anxiety at the same time).

Moongal

Dx. BPAD, OCD, GAD, CPTSD

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

WintersweetSenior Contributor16 July 2026, 3:58 pm AEST

Re: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

Hi @MoonGal

I can empathise with finding that after a time of isolating myself from stress it can be frustrating to then find my baseline tolerance for it has decreased. The increase in anxiety you’re describing would be a lot to be dealing with. I’m sorry your partner said the comment about being “fit for real life”, I imagine that would have been really painful to hear, especially when you’re struggling.

Do you know whether you’re neurodivergent? I ask because I know that routine/expectation disruption can be particularly distressing for some neurodivergent people, and if that’s part of what you’re dealing with it might affect what will help. Obviously lots of other things can cause overwhelm too. I know myself and a lot of other neurodivergent people struggle with fitting into how most people operate. Knowing that I’m neurodivergent has helped me find other people (in person and online) who have found strategies I can use because they have a similar experience.

Have you looked at SANE’s recovery club? Do you have a GP/psychologist/psychiatrist who you can talk to about what might help? I’m glad that posting on the forums was helpful, even if thinking/writing about brings up some of the anxiety (which makes sense, I feel anxious when thinking about my anxiety and how to manage it too).

Is there anything that’s helped you with anxiety in the past?

In response to: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

MoonGalSenior Contributor16 July 2026, 5:14 pm AEST

Re: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

hi at @Wintersweet thanks for your considered reply.

Do you know whether you’re neurodivergent?

I don't know for sure I suspect I am undiagnosed ADHD.

Have you looked at SANE’s recovery club?

I did have a look brfore i posted, but it wanted masses of information and I am unsure about giving my ID etc yet.

Do you have a GP/psychologist/psychiatrist who you can talk to about what might help?

No, I don't have any psyche that I trust. Every time i see someone they insist on mucking about my meds or giving me new dx. I have never actuslly been positively assisted by any professional psychiatrist or psychologist.

Caught between a rock and hard place.

In response to: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

MoonGalSenior Contributor17 July 2026, 11:10 am AEST

Re: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

Okay - follow up 24 hours later. Just writing this out helped a lot. I realised I had extended my boundaries beyond my skin to the edges of the house, when I leave the house I pull my boundaries IN to my skin. We had not had anyone come to the house for years really so this is NEW and I was not adjusting to the reality of it. My partner said "I was not fit for real life' in a loving way it was an observation made during a conversation where I was projecting my control freakery on to other people in a an attempt to solve the issue (which was actually inside me).

So, I have adjusted my expectations and boundaries, If we have people coming to the house for work or maintenance etc, I just need to pull my head in (so to speak!) and be aware they are supposed to be there, that they may do or say unexpected things and that I used to cope with that fine so I can again. I actually cope fine out of the house, I am hypervigilant usually both in the house and out of it - but also aware to be masking and to expect the unexpected in terms of people, cars, traffic, dogs etc and have some tools for not ramping up outside the house. I need to apply those skills inside the house as well..

I am glad I had the opportunity to put this out there and be heard though.

Solution for me was : Adjust my expectations, pull in my boundaries to my own body not the entire universe, be aware people will do things outside my expected outcome and to be flexible enough to accomodate that.

Moongal.

In response to: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

WintersweetSenior Contributor17 July 2026, 2:41 pm AEST

Re: New Meltdowns and Overwhelm

Hi @MoonGal

I’m so glad to hear you were able to find a way to feel safer when someone unfamiliar has to come into your familiar space. Reducing the threat of the unexpected by anticipating it and making it part of your expectations is also a really cool strategy and I’m so glad it’s helped.

I’m sorry you’ve not had helpful experiences with psychs. That would be really frustrating. And fair enough about not wanting to give out your personal information yet. From memory, I think you can reach out to BlueKnot without giving personal info? (They’re a helpline for people with complex trauma.)

Also, apologies for misunderstanding your partner’s tone.

I’m also glad that it was helpful for you to write things out on the forums. Hopefully that can continue to be helpful for you.

1 - 4 of 4