Schizophrenic father

@whitebell okay re getting out of feeling my food was poisoned took the right kind of medication. it took time as the meds have to be built up. i also had to be honest with my psychiatrist. i had to trust her with some of my delusions (which i believed were real). the right meds really are crucial in getting over this awful illness. Okay there were times when i felt perfectly normal. then i would sink into madness. my ex thought i was just being very difficult he didnt realize or understand at the time what was going on with me. i feel that is going on with your father. it is like a roller coaster illness.

the question you ask about your children is really hard in many ways. i suppose if it was happening to my father and my children were too small to understand that grandad wasnt well and not himself then i would restrict visits. you have to look after your children first. it is your fathers choice not to take meds and with that comes consequences.

in saying that though your father is not himself and should not be punished when he is not well. he does need you and the rest of his family and friends around him. i hope this helps. bunniekins

@whitebell just a thought apparently i did things which my children have told me that i have no recollection of... terrible temper outbursts and the like. it took over a year for me to be diagnosed and i was ill. alot of damage happened along the way ..... this is why i say be careful of taking your children to see your dad. it is not to be mean to your dad but to protect both your dad and your children from unpleasant situations which may occur.

@Wintersweet @Bunniekins He's here now playing soccer with the grandkids. He hasn't mentioned the voices so far. He only mentions the threats to my mum.

I feel like I should prioritise enjoying the visit from him rather than bringing it up unless he talks about it. But I do want to bring it up naturally. If I ask 'How have things been at home', he might suspect that my mum has been feeding me this information. So maybe I should ask at the next visit just for him to enjoy his day and to allow some time. I do worry if I don't address this sooner that it could get worse.

@whitebell

I can see how it would be hard with him being suspicious. If he’s mentioning things like the threats to your mum, could you use that as a starting point to be curious about how he’s been coping with that, where he can recognise it as similar to what he experienced when he was ill before, etc? I can hear how conflicted you are between not wanting to upset him more in the moment and not wanting things to get worse. From what I’ve read, it sounds like at least offering support is worthwhile, even if he’s not willing to accept it yet, but I’m not an expert and you know the situation best. I think you said you’d tried calling the mental health info line? Was that the Medicare one (1800 595 212)? What did they suggest?

Two other thoughts. One is, would it be helpful to share the Mental Health First Aid info sheet with your mum and discuss it together? The second is, are you able to let your kids know that if they’re concerned about anything they hear that they should come and talk to you about it. That way you’ll be able to reassure them that your mum is safe and you are working on getting help for your dad and they don’t need to worry about it (not because it’s not an issue but because that’s not their responsibility).

@whitebell i know this is hard for you and your mum but unfortunately you really cannot do much until things escalate in my own experience. there are groups for carers in different areas i would contact your local mental health centre and ask for their contact details. you would at least meet up with people going through the same issues as yourself.

it is a long journey but there is help out there.