Not myself

Hi @Anxious_Mumma I'm hearing how difficult things are for you at the moment. Sounds like being unable to hit the gym is also a big impact, it can be really challenging when we lose access to a coping tool like that. Could be burnout, anhedonia, depression, or maybe a combination of factors all leading to these feelings. I'm really glad that you've been proactive about getting yourself some extra support, I hope that you're able to find a psych who feels like a good fit :)

Maybe it's worth having a conversation with your husband about how you've been feeling, and see if there's some ways he may be able to support you along the way?

I wish you the best on this difficult part of your journey, and hope things ease for you soon.

Thank you @Jynx

So far I havent had the motivation or time to find a psych and I feel like I'm doing a lot worse.

I'm on 2 weeks holiday (1 week done) to help refresh but im still exhausted and not feeling any better and I know im back next week and ive got massive anxiety/depressive thoughts about it. I know my workload is going to be massive when i get back and Im going to have over 300 emails to go through. Makes me wonder if what im going through is depression and burn out combined.

Ive been with this company 20 years and im finding it hard to find the motivation to find another job as they are flexible with the kids and I can work from home full time.

@Anxious_Mumma I'm glad you've been able to take this break. Burn out is incredibly challenging, and unfortunately only rest and replenishment can help. I can understand your hesitations about leaving your workplace - perhaps it's something you could talk to your manager about? See if you can reduce the workload?

Here's some further info about burn out that could be helpful: https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/news/experiencing-burnout-heres-what-to-do-about-it/

Also may be worthwhile to seek some professional support - I saw you're looking for a psychologist (AskIzzy might be helpful - https://askizzy.org.au/) which is awesome, you may also benefit from our Recovery Club program (free, telehealth, 6-month program with 1:1 sessions, groups, recovery planning and guided and self-guided support - more info here: https://www.sane.org/recovery-club).

I hope that you're able to find ways to nourish yourself and let off some steam whilst you're still off work :)

I'm now seeing a psychologist and she suggested I speak to my GP about SNRI rather than an SSRI. I find SSRIs make me a zombie (emotional blunting).

If I didn't have kids, I would be taking myself to my local ED. I just can't cope.

I've also been off work for the whole school holidays and now I'm dreading going back to work but feel guilty if I ask for more time off

It sounds like things are feeling incredibly overwhelming right now @Anxious_Mumma , especially with the [pressure of returning to work on top of everything else, I'm really glad you've been able to connect with a psychologist and are talking with your GP about options.

I hear that you're carrying a lot. If things become too much tonight, please consider reaching out to Lifeline (24/7 crisis phone or webchat support) on 13 11 14.

And regarding work, it's okay to speak with your GP about whether you need more time off - you don't have to push through because you feel guilty.

Sitting with you this evening <3

~ @Honeymoon

@Honeymoon I appreciate you.

I did end up messaging Lifeline, and it was very helpful. I now know that I can do this whenever I feel I need additional support or just someone to talk to who understands.

My doc has put me on a starter dose of a SNRI, so let's see how that goes. My doc also reminded me to go back and see her if I feel like work is too overwhelming and she will give me a certificate for more time off.

Im torn between telling my work what im going through (they are very supportive and ive been with them for 20 years) and not. I dont have the energy right now to mask my emotions and glad I work 99% at home.

So I told my work that I have been diagnosed with severe depression. They have been very supportive which is great. Asked if I wanted to take time off but after thinking about it, I feel like its better for me if I work so I just dont sit and rot on the couch.

My husband also asked what he can do to help. I suggested more help around the house as I do most of it. He explained to the kids what's going on, but they arent helping much. I brought it back up with the hubby and he said that I need to tell him what needs to be done. I dont have the mental energy for that.

But he said that he has his own demons to fight and just wants to sit on the couch and not get up. If I dont tell him to do things, he will just assume that im fine to do it all and dont need help.

Im lost