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Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

ChaosPixieNew Contributor29 June 2026, 5:23 pm AEST

Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

Hello everyone,

I'm new here and hoping to connect with other families who may have had similar experiences.

My 25-year-old son sustained a traumatic brain injury in December 2022 and is currently medically discharging from the Royal Australian Navy.

When he first returned to the Navy after rehabilitation, I only noticed occasional changes and assumed he was being well supported. Around a year ago, I relocated from Queensland to Western Australia so that we could share a home after he decided to move off base. Since then, I have gained a much greater understanding of the long-term effects of traumatic brain injury and the impact it can have on family life.

We are also navigating the transition from military service to civilian life. At present, my son works one day a week while his medical discharge is being finalised, and we are both hoping he will be able to secure and maintain full-time employment. Like many families, we are aware that civilian life brings different financial realities, and this transition has added another layer of uncertainty.

One of the most difficult aspects has been the behavioural changes. At times, particularly if alcohol is involved, he can become very angry and fixate on events from his childhood. He will ask me to confirm memories that I genuinely do not remember, and if I say I don't remember, he can interpret that as me denying his experience. It leaves me wondering how best to respond while remaining honest.

I'm not looking to assign blame or question my son's experiences. I'm simply hoping to hear from others who have supported an adult child, partner or family member following a traumatic brain injury.

Have others experienced similar changes in behaviour?

How do you respond when someone expects you to validate memories that you genuinely don't share?

Have you found any strategies that help de-escalate these situations, particularly when alcohol has played a part?

Finally, does anyone know of any face-to-face support groups in Western Australia for parents or family members of adults living with traumatic brain injury? I've been searching without much success.

Thank you for reading. I would really appreciate hearing from others with lived experience.

3 replies

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In response to: Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

JynxModerator29 June 2026, 9:47 pm AEST

Re: Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

Hi @ChaosPixie and welcome to the forums. I can hear that you and your son are going through a lot, and I hope that the community here are able to give you some ideas and support.

Off the top of my head, you could try searching the Ask Izzy database: https://askizzy.org.au/

Or get in touch with OpenArms: Open Arms - Veterans & Families Counselling and see if they have any ideas for extra support along the way.

Hope you find what you're looking for :)

In response to: Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

GalaxyGuideModerator09 July 2026, 12:26 pm AEST

Re: Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

Hi @ChaosPixie ,

Welcome to the forums, and thanks so much for sharing. It can be so hard navigating love for someone you care for post service.

I'm going to tag some wonderful community members here who might have some words of wisdom @Magpie22 @HelloKitty1981 @S1TREP @BecomingOkay @ccau_82

@Oaktree- you might be familiar with some WA services?

In response to: Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

Magpie22Peer Guide29 Aug 2026, 2:13 pm AEST

Re: Navigating life after TBI and ADF transition

Hi @ChaosPixie - sorry it’s taken a while to respond. How lucky your son is to have you - as a veteran myself I can only say thank you for being there for him.

The new Veteran and Family Wellbeing Agency should be able to help you and your son navigate the different services available, and he can also get support with transition through them too.

https://www.veteranwellbeing.gov.au/

There may be non-veteran groups that are helpful even if there’s nothing focused on veterans. He might also be able to access the new veteran access card that allows veterans to use the gym, and other facilities after discharge. If he has mates on base that might be helpful.

In terms of some advice for when he is having a bad day, the main thing is you don’t need to accept abuse. Having healthy boundaries is so important. Set some ground rules when he is sober, and let him know what you will do when those boundaries are crossed - leave the conversation, leave the room, leave the house… whatever is going to work. Then if you need to do that don’t try and explain it - just say “as we agreed, xxx has happened so I am going to xxxx”. It will be hard, and he may want to continue arguing - BUT - you cannot have a reasonable conversation with someone who has been drinking. You don’t need to justify yourself. If he wants to talk about important topics, let him know it needs to be when he hasn’t been drinking.

Again - thank you for being there for him. Even if he can’t always communicate it to you - I am sure he is really thankful to have you x

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