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Fluttershy1Senior Contributor
Feeling lost and confused, just wanna feel alright I want things to be the way they used to be. I keep getting let down by ndis support workers aswell and it’s breaking me. I’ve been to ER twice this week and I was trying so hard not to go.
changes are just triggering all together. It’s just hard. But still going with my coping skills.
am safe
In response to: Feeling not so great
Fluttershy1Senior Contributor
hello @MissGremlin @Taali @Nala2022 @Jynx@AuntGlow @Honeymoon @Dimity@NightFury@Jacques @Captain24 @DogMan79@Chasingsunsets @eth @EternalFlower @Eve7@Shaz51 @Cuddlebear @Bunniekins @Appleblossom - how are you?
threapy was intense but she was very understanding of everything going on, I feel terrible though today, lots of thoughts and all that but I’m safe.
I just want my grandpa back, feeling a lot of guilt etc.
landed in ED MH also because of it, saw L she chatted with me tonight and talked things through and my thoughts etc, how to get the right help and not to do anything impulsive and keep reaching out when I need to. Then I briefly saw T we just said hi because she was super busy.
got home and laid in my bed for abit with the kitties and had some pasta for dinner now I’m about to take my night meds and go watch a movie on my tv and chill on here for abit to unwind.
am safe
In response to: Feeling not so great
TaaliSenior Contributor
Sorry for the delayed reply @Fluttershy1
It's okay to miss your grandpa I think you'll miss him forever, but hey don't let it get you down, you can focus on the good memories!!
Try to avoid the guilt 😔 l felt guilty about being an absolute b!tch to my parents when I was a horror teenager 🙃
I have learnt to accept the guilt but acknowledge that I can't change the past.
I also have a lot of it around not getting to my mother's side when she was dying 😕 mainly because (and I've only admitted this recently) of my addiction to alcohol!
Wow, that's still so hard to write.
Anyway, how are you today?
How're you going with the van?
Decked out yet?
I've just had my breakfast of 2 boiled eggs 🥚
It's my attempt to be a little more normal with my diet. Basically I haven't had any appetite so I'm really trying to eat what I can. Eggs are my protein fill.
Nuts and carrots don't quite do the trick.
Taali 💜
In response to: Feeling not so great
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Hope you got some sleep @Fluttershy1
It's good you had people to talk with. It's really early days in a grief journey. Some people protect themselves from feeling and deny it, but feeling the distress is supposed to be healthy as it is realistic about loss. Gradually the nervous system moves into a sense of acceptance of the reality, and slowly we adjust our expectations and let go, though we can carry them in our heart.
Give your girl kitties 😻 some hugs from me.
In response to: Feeling not so great
Fluttershy1Senior Contributor
Hello @Taali @AuntGlow @Appleblossom - still a real struggle today, saw L in ER MH and told her how I felt but she didn’t really have much to say it’s all apart of the grief.
went to Kmart and got a black drawing book. I just feel terrible. Everything is getting to me today.
am safe
In response to: Feeling not so great
AuntGlowModerator
Hello @Fluttershy1 💛
I can hear that there are some big feelings coming up for you today... know that they are allowed to be there. Is there something you could do to nurture yourself this evening?
And ooh! Tell me more about the black drawing book. Are you creating anything atm?
In response to: Feeling not so great
Fluttershy1Senior Contributor
@AuntGlow - I’ve just gotten home, I just wanna feel ok, I might draw soon, not sure yet. I’m currently laying on my bed thinking about life.
grief is so hard. I’ve never felt anything like this. I also feel guilty because I wish I had spent more time with him aswell.
am safe
In response to: Feeling not so great
TaaliSenior Contributor
Oh no my poor @Fluttershy1
I really hope you are feeling better soon 💕
Who or what is "L"?
Taali 💜
In response to: Feeling not so great
AuntGlowModerator
I wonder if you can draw how you are feeling and then draw how you would like to feel? @Fluttershy1
I completely hear you... grief is so hard.
Maybe you could call NALAG tomorrow? They provide free grief counselling. https://nalag.org.au/ 💛
In response to: Feeling not so great
Fluttershy1Senior Contributor
L is one of the MH clinicains @Taali, I just wanna feel better,
Helping mum with her cat, we have to shave one of them because he has fur balls. And he doesn’t let us brush him
In response to: Feeling not so great
Fluttershy1Senior Contributor
@AuntGlow - maybe, I like to draw mandalas. I like to listen to music when drawing and colouring.
I just wanna feel ok, I don’t really wanna talk to helplines at the moment.
happy chatting here.
am safe
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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