Good morning on the ocean,
Well here we are again on what would be phoning day but isn't - sigh.... 
Thank you to everyone who has dropped by the ocean over yesterday and this morning. I am super sad to see that Mohill seems to have become a "former member."
Super big thank you for all your compliments regarding my crocheting. I am SUPER enjoying this new adventure.
I am feeling much calmer these days. I don't feel lonely anymore. I feel like I've moved through (and survived!!!) the existential crisis of knowing that I truly am alone (aside from having TTT) and I truly don't matter. I've made peace with this reality now. I know I have done my very very best to work through the wrongness of the wrong. I am at peace now knowing that I will do what I feel I need to do to deal with the situation as it is, rather than trying to make it into the situation I would like it to be.
Last Monday I showed TTT the draft of my final attempt to work through the muddle. She said it was really good, and made a suggestion about how I could improve it a little bit. After I got the unhelpful reply, I emailed TTT and dumped out all my hurt to her, ending with we will get through this together won't we. This was her response to me: Your additions to the email were perfect. You did so well. I'm sorry it didn't work out. Of course we will get through it together.
I feel warm and fuzzy and safe every time I re-read that. I know I did my very best. I know my communication wasn't wonky. And I know that as much as she can in her role as my psychologist (as opposed to a friend or family member), TTT will support me through the grief and agony of this situation.
@Former-Member I am so sad that you are such a super broken bookish. I so very VERY badly wish I could send you a clone of TTT.
@Faith-and-Hope I love that you agree with @Bunniekins that Mr Narwhal could pass as a blue platypus. I mentioned on the craft thread that Mr Narwhal suffers from a very rare genetic condition. The condition he suffers from is called likeaplatypusosis. 
