Riding a wave

Can you access webchat at SCBS @Phoenix_Rising? Perhaps that is a way for you to get some more support tonight.

Seeing that you're having a tough time @Phoenix_Rising

https://youtu.be/YAZkDnZPdJs

Thelma always makes me smile @Phoenix_Rising. Safe home. Night

@Phoenix_Rising, I’m so sorry about the utter wrongness of the wrong. It is so NOT okay. Please let us know when you get home and then snuggle deep in @CheerBear’s pocket, under your blanket and read Thelma, together but not.

I super like you, little turtle. You matter to me in a big way and I really wish things were different and that the world was a nicer, wave-free place (and filled with lots of TTTs). I'll keep looking for that wand. 🌷🐢

I am home. I feel utterly utterly utterly hopeless. I have no idea what benefit other people get from calling (or using chat) with the helplines other than the HC. I find them worse than useless in that they invariably escalate the situation - usually by hanging up on me, but otherwise by saying the most amazingly unhelpful things. Who could forget the day I tried to tell a telephone counsellor about my abusive therapist and he responded with perhaps the abuse was an important part of the therapy. And people wonder why I find it so triggering when they suggest I call that helpline!

I feel so utterly alone in my muddle. I know you guys care, but you can't actually know the situation and thus the words "I care" don't mean anything to me.

I just so very very very badly need the gigantic wrongness of the wrong to be put right. I am living my past all over again - an individual in an organisation does harm to me and the reputation of the organisation and the wellbeing of the individual is placed ahead of my wellbeing while I am utterly shut down. I have already lived this story. I don't need to live it again!!!!

I am also struggling right now over the fact that there are different rules for turtles compared to other Forumites, when it comes to calling the HC. It super stings when I see other people being invited to call the HC when they are struggling and I don't get the same invitation. I know there are reasons for special turtle rules but it is still super super super hard. It would have helped so very much to talk to someone tonight.

I miss CherryBomb so so SO much. I miss her SO much. I know the giant missing CherryBomb feelings have been triggered by River9 leaving.

I will go and snuggle under my blanket and in @CheerBear's pocket and sleep now. @SleepyPanda are you around tonight? Would you like to read a story together-but-not with CheerBear and me? https://youtu.be/YAZkDnZPdJs CheerBear chose it. It's a cool story - we've read it before. If you are around, you will watch over the ocean tonight won't you SleepyPanda??? I super like you and it feels snuggly and safe knowing there is a sleepy panda watching the ocean.

Today has been so so so hard...but I still have a 100% perfect track record of surviving every day living with BPD.

Night Forum Land.

Super big thank you @Former-Member. Things are really really really hard right now, but they won't always be. Thank you for recognising how wrong the wrongness of the wrong is. It helps SO MUCH to hear people say it. I know you know the power of validation...and the utter soul-crushingness of invalidation. Are you going to read Thelma with us?

I super like you, bookish and I am super glad that you are here in Forum Land snuggled safely under the like button.

Thank you for letting us know that you're home. I will definitely read along with you, @Phoenix_Rising. My world could really do with some stories of the good variety. 📚 Night.

(P.S. I am SO glad we don't live on Venus.)