@Phoenix_Rising I have employed myself as your Manager/Promoter/Tailor lol
Before I 'make' your jacket for you I have written your 'profile' piece...... 
How about this little turtle:
I am a disrespectful and offensive sea turtle. I don’t love anyone nor am I friends with anyone. I do not like it when love hearts are thrown at my head (but one specific little flutterby ‘gets away with it’ ocassionally).
I see the world in black and white and take literally what is written or said.
This also means that I write exactly what I think and believe that there is truth in honesty. Not everyone ‘gets this’ but you will always know exactly where you stand with this little turtle.
I understand that not everyone is able to ‘speak turtle’ but having a few people around that can does help at times with my Big feelings.
I do have a unique sense of humour which often leaves ‘people’ ROFL.
If something isn’t covered in Nutella and/or chocolate then it is just not worth eating.
I spend most of my days riding waves or in my underwater cave.
When I have BIG feeling I can often be found in CB’s pocket or deep in the inner sanctum of the underwater cave.
I feel safest when I know that someone is watching over the cave at night.
I am super grateful for this forum as I do not feel quite as alone here as I do IRL.