Self hate and avoidance

@charliG Hello it is nice to meet you and welcome to the forum family.

Sounds like you’ve had a rough day today. It is really courageous thwt you’ve come here to share what you feel and the circumstances that have led you to feel that way today.

I can understand self hate having lived with it too.

You know we all make mistakes and those mistakes don’t make us a bad person. I can tell you’re actually a good person because you regret making that mistake. By wishing you had not is nothing to be shamed of. Many people don’t feel regret and instead make excuses. But here you are a decent person who made a small error in judgement where no one was hurt.

While I’ve never met you I can tell thwt you are someone who is loveable and you deserve to feel that love for yourself too. We are all humans and I certainly am not perfect. I’ve done things I regret too.


@Jynx Is a peer support worker here. They may have something further to say.

Hi @charliG

Thank you for writing in - you are so brave taking this big step to write in.

and you can be anything everyday and we will read you.

it feels like something I deal with and I think you said so much better - do you think just walking around the block may change your thoughts ??
it helps me atm too that you write this.

@charliG

Hi @charliG welcome to the space.

I can really hear how much regret and self-blame you are sitting with after today. To me, the intensity of the feelings of shame and regret are the true indicators of your integrity, not the mistake itself.

Making mistakes like this do not undo all the healing we've already done. It can certainly feel that way, but you are still on the right path forward, I can promise you that 💜

@Cuddlebear thank you for responding and welcoming me to forum and your kind words.

I do really regret my decisions and I fully own them.

So thankful that noone was hurt due to my actions.

@PeppyPatti thank you! I will try a walk. That might help!

@charliG hey charliG hugs and hugs. believe me when i say this no one has made as many mistakes as i have but you know what i was talking with a friend who said to me everyone makes mistakes just try not to make the same mistake twice and if you do brush yourself off and dont give up just keep on trying. no one is perfect. everyone makes mistakes. hugs and hugs again. love to you. bunniekins xx

https://youtu.be/1y6smkh6c-0

@Bunniekins thank you for your comment and the reminder that we all make mistakes its what we do after that matters.

Yesterday was dark and scary for a minute. Today started the same but I forced myself out of bed and out to the commitments I had made and tried to show up for myself.

Had a few little cries today and have decided the mistakes I make dont define me. I am a good person.

Thank you all that commented on my post. @Bunniekins @Jynx @PeppyPatti @Cuddlebear

Today I tried to avoid people and started to send the usual excuses to get out of my commitments so I could avoid everyone. But after re reading these comments a few times I decided that I wasnt going to go down that road. I didnt want to add more shame and guilt by letting people down. I dont want to be that person.

So I turned up, for my friends, my team mates and for me!

I also had an little chat with internal me and asked if we can just be nicer to each other.

So glad I found this space yesterday

@charliG I’m so glad that you are giving yourself the grace and love you deserve. Having that chat with yourself was such a good idea. You can loving towards yourself because you’re not a bad human. I’m so glad the forum family has already been a help. We’re really so happy you’ve joined us and are a forum family member. Honestly, there’s beautiful souls here. None of us perfect and all going through stuff but we are here for one another and truly can understand.

Did you enjoy being out? I hope you did.

@Cuddlebear I played footy, so it was good outlet and my team mates are beautiful humans!

I am glad to be here and I feel understood. Thank you for being such a wonderful person and taking the time.