When family really don't understand

Hi @MaggiePark

I so totally understand what you are saying about being blamed for tearing the family apart

Of course I don't know what has happened in your case - but it is impossible for one person to be at fault in such a catastrophe - we are not that powerful

In the past I have left my family of origin for years - because of their nastiness - and been blame for "doing strange things they did not understand" - bad luck for them because I know I never did anything wrong - and I got along fine in life alone

But this hurts - it sounds as if you come from a toxic family - aha - wow - that is so hard -

And as tough as it is - it is better to be alone - I feel quite okay about that in my life

But please let us know more

And welcome to the Forum Family

Dec

Hi @MaggiePark, welcome to the forum. 🙂

Sorry you have been having an especially hard time with your anxiety lately. I know very well the experience of withdrawing from or shutting down in relation to family. How awful that you were accused of tearing the family apart because of your difficulties. But how resourceful of you to think of making a video about your experience that you could share with family, to help them understand the situation better.

It sounds like the video has been helpful in all but one case. I wonder about the one person who is being so harsh. Are there any other issues they have with you? They sound to be particularly nasty in the way they are treating you. It's sad to say, but that family member may never really understand your predicament, or it may take them a lot longer to begin to comprehend. The positive is that the others you sent the video to may be more likely in future to be understanding.

Many of us here will have experienced similarly bad social experiences in relation to our mental health. It is probably fairly common in general for anyone with mental health issues. Hopefully this is slowly getting better over time. Recognising that the bad treatment is that person's problem, not yours, may help depersonalise things. I know this is a hard thing to handle emotionally though. Personally I tend to minimise or end contact with people who treat me so badly.

Wishing you well and hoping to see you more around the forum.

Hi @MaggiePark

Welcome to the forum.

It is very difficult when family, the ones who you would think would support and love you no matter what; dont'.

I feel for you cause i know exactly what you are talking about. Being abandoned, rejected, unloved, unsupported, being made to feel that you have torn the family apart and it's your fault.

I get all of that - it happened to me 7 yrs ago when I disclosed my childhood sexual abuse to my parents. They have abandoned me and are very nasty towards me.

I am hurting so much but I know that being on here with others is helping. Just being able to talk to olthers, share the pain, the joys just everything on here is still overwhelming for me.

But i am glad you are on here too, you will see what a great group of people there are on here 🙂

Hi @MaggiePark,

Wow, I am super impressed with your idea of making a video. I would imagine that took quite a bit of courage! I'm also super impressed that 5 out of 6 people responded well - it must have been an awesome video.

I walked away from my family of origin twelve years ago because it was all too difficult. Although, I should clarify that by "family of origin" I only actually mean my two siblings because my parents are both deceased and I don't have any other family.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice about how to manage the situation...hence why I chose to simply walk away, I guess. I was never close to any of my family so I didn't have any sense of loss over the demise of the relationships with my siblings. However, I know that for others, there is immense grief over the breakdown of family relationships.

I hope you find the forums helpful. Oh by the way, when you respond to people, you need to "tag" them so they get notified of your response. Otherwise, they will often miss it. By "tag" I mean you put the @ sign and then their name. So... @Owlunar, @Mazarita @BlueBay.