Relationship

Hey @Riee

It’s perfectly natural to have arguments in relationships. It doesn’t mean that either one of you is toxic or that the relationship should end. It’s great that you can recognise that he needs space. It’s also understandable to be anxious and hurt about the reduction in communication. Do you have any friends or a therapist you can talk about this with? Sometimes voicing our anxieties to someone else can make them feel less overwhelming. You can also always voice them here if you’re feeling up to it. It might also be helpful to write down the things you are anxious about happening and see if you can fact check them against the evidence you have.

Hey @Riee

It’s great that you’re seeking support. I really hope you find it helpful. That change between things feeling normal and then things feeling distant is hard for anyone to handle. Fears of abandonment in relationships can be really hard to navigate. Is there anything that gives you reassurance? It is so easy to use anxious thoughts as evidence of our worst fears becoming true when really, they’re just anxious thoughts.

@Vanya Thank you for this honestly, it makes me feel less alone. I relate a lot to what you said about spiralling in silence. I think that’s exactly what’s happening to me right now. My brain keeps trying to fill in the gaps and it almost always jumps to the worst conclusions

I know space can be healthy and I’m trying to respect that he gets overwhelmed differently than I do, but the uncertainty and sudden reduction in communication has been really hard for me emotionally. Especially because we were okay just a few days before this and now everything feels so different.

I think I also struggle with wanting reassurance or clarity immediately because silence makes me feel abandoned, even when I’m trying to stay rational. So hearing that someone else experiences this too genuinely helps a bit.

I’ve experienced this silent treatment for almost a year living with a partner who was not taking meds for schiz. I told to myself it is ok for her to do this because she is unwell and not under meds. I’m curious why normal people go through such phase? I can imagine it to be incredibly difficult for the other if you are not comfortable bringing that up. Why would one put up with that? Is that cause you love them so much that you hope things will get better? Wouldn’t there be some level of comms to indicate this or am I just simplifying things too much?
wanting space is ok, but extended periods of silence is something else. I’d even say it is a form of abuse?