Feeling very sad

Hi @Queenie

Sorry to hear that you're feeling sad tonight, is there anything (I know you've talked about lots lately) in particular thats affecting you tonight?

Sometimes i'm almost greatful for my numb feeling! thought other times it jsut feels awful too.

Here with you,

lj

Hi Queenie.

That's tough. I'm sorry you're in a bit of a tricky place.

I don't have any advice. Just letting you know I've read this and I've heard you.

Regards,

Magggie

Hello @Queenie,

Thinking of you, that must be really tough not feeling like you are able to cry although you are sad, we are here for you to talk if you feel up to it, hope you are resting... feeling numb might also mean you are physically exhaused ❤️

@Former-Member I did manage to have a nap during the day (which is something I don't normally do these days) as I was physically and emotionally spent. I feel like my medication numbs me, especially the mood stabiliser. I don't express emotions the same way anymore. I can feel extremely sad... nothing. Elation too.... nothing. It's like I am not permitted chemically to feel emotions. People ask me what's up I say "nothing" (when there is a lot wrong, I just can't verbalise it properly). I'm weird.

@Former-Member I guess my friend J's birthday brought up a lot of stuff for me that I haven't even begun to process. There is a lot of unprocessed guilt there I know that much.

@MaggiePark it is a tricky path to navigate when you can't properly express emotions.

@Queenie I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so sad at the moment. I can't imagine what it must be like to feel sad but not cry. I'm the opposite - I cry A LOT! I noticed that in your comment to @Former-Member you described how the medication numbs you...and then you finished the comment by saying you were weird. Nope, not weird...just experiencing the effects of medication, if I heard you correctly.

I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight and that tomorrow is a brighter day for you.

Ps. I see you have changed your avatar to reflect this time of sadness and grief. Grief sucks!

It's kind of frustrating @Phoenix_Rising not being able to properly express emotions. I think people in my world get confused and think I am not caring, when the opposite is true, I care a great deal. I've noticed some of my emotions come across 'stunted' because of either the illness or the medication (I'm guessing the medication here).

You're quite right that I changed my avatar due to this sadness. It is not often you find a teary monarch though.

Hi @Queenie

I thought that it would have, though i I think it's great that you were able to share the story about you and J with us all. It will have helped a lot of people. It would have been an impossible situation... but though i know its only natural to feel guilt, I know we can only ever be responsible for ourselves. I do believe you have an angel watching over you and wonder what she would be saying to you.

hugs

lj