A poem for the loved ones who have seen me at my very worst and still stayed

This is a poem I wrote for the loved ones who saw me at my worst. My very very worst. They took the brunt of the illness and stood by my side the entire time even though my anger, sadness, confusion and rage inadvertantly hurt them. It is proof that there are compassionate and empathetic individuals that will stay the course with you, regardless. These guys copped a lot, and I'm thankful for them every day.

In this small patch of sunlight, I feel myself grow

I think of you often, and more than you know

I silently thank you for holding my hand

While I clung to a thread with my head in the sand

I searched for some peace and I pleaded my case

While my spirit dissolved in this pitiful place

Ridding your heart of the bruises and dents

You struggled to find any truth, any sense

Wild eyed and raging, I ran and I fell

I landed face down in this sweet private hell

I tried to get up but the waves pulled me down

And I wandered the halls in that white cotton gown

I lost all my senses, my rights and my mind

My actions weren’t measured but still so unkind

I cannot erase all the hurt that you felt

But I pray that the anger and sadness will melt

I refuse to let go or give up on this fight

My knuckles translucent and holding on tight

The same grip I have on the love that we have

Even though you are empty and tired and sad

I write this in silence, a shaking of hand,

I fall from this height, I know not where I’ll land

I do know for certain the sting of this climb

But I’m taking things slowly, one day at a time.

I hope that in time, you'll forgive me my faults

My flaws and my shame and my thoughtless assaults

I know you need time, some air and some space

But I want you to know, you’re my one saving grace