HopefulhorizonsCasual Contributor
Daughter with BPD
Hi, I'm new to this forum, and I hope you can forgive the long post. I'm the mother of a 24 year old daughter who was diagnosed with BPD at 19 and ADHD at 20. She is reasonably independent-she works part time as a carer and is currently living with her brother, who also has ADHD & Asperger's.
Recently she has been expressing a deep lack of motivation and even a lack of will to keep going day to day. She says she doesn't see any real purpose in life. She has no hobbies, and no amount of encouragement seems to spark interest. Even simple daily tasks feel overwhelmingly difficult for her, sometimes to the where she describes them as physically painful.
She went through a breakup late last year-a relationship she chose to end-but the emotional fallout was so intense that she came close to taking her life. She feels she can never be alone and immediately seeks a new relationship to avoid that feeling. Her abandonment fears are severe. At the same time, when she is in one of these emotional episodes, she pushes us away completely. Her behaviour becomes irrational and aggressive, and her brother has to move back home with us until she calms down.
The only thing she seems able to maintain is her job, and even that is because she doesn't want to let down the clients who rely on her. She has so much compassion and insight-her friends constantly come to her for advice-yet she feels completely unable to help herself. She often says she doesn't have the "tools" to cope with life, even the simplest tasks.
She sees a psychologist regularly, but I'm starting to doubt whether it's helping. She feels stuck and unable to make any changes-whether that's finding a new therapist, changing jobs, studying or even cooking for herself.
I'm terrified that another breakup could push her to a very dark place again. I don't know how to support her or what to say any more. How can I best help navigate these challenges & hang on to my girl?
