First Post: 24, Schizoaffective/PTSD/ADHD/Anxiety/Gender Dysphoria, feel trapped by my inability to get anything done.

Hi @therealcrumbles ,

Welcome to the forums - thank you for being here🤗

I'm glad you decided to get this off your chest and introduce yourself. I hope being here helps you feel a little more connected and supported.

It's clear that despite how overwhelmed and discouraged you're feeling, there is also resilience, persistence, courage and self-awareness evident in what you shared, which are really meaningful strengths when it comes to improving your mental health and overall wellbeing.

Many people in the community can relate to feeling trapped by mental health challenges and the loneliness that can come with them. You're not alone, and we can hold hope for you today💙

~ @Honeymoon

Hey @therealcrumbles,

I can tell you that you are not alone in your feelings. I share a lot of your problems and too have felt as if I was dealt bad cards at the start of my life. But I can promise you that it does get better if you are determined to change your present circumstances. It must come from you.

To begin with, there are definitely ways around your forgetfulness. What I find really helps (assuming you are also a very device-heavy user) is to set calender alerts and alarms for things.

If you have upcoming bills, set an alert/alarm for it a few days before the due date. It can pop up saying “PAY ELECTRICITY BILL NOW”. Then you drop everything you’re doing for five minutes and complete it, well before the due date. Saves you so much panic.

Same can be done for appointments. The day before “PSYCH APPT - 9AM TOMORROW” and then “PSYCH APPT AT 9” on the day. That way you’re forced to see it when you use your phone/computer. I’d put it on all the devices you use to be safe.

Secondly, I feel your pain of an untidy home. It’s really overwhelming to keep it tidy when you’re dealing with so much. But I think you’ll feel more competent in yourself if you begin to clean it up, because it can subconsciously make you feel worse about your capacity. So chipping away at it little by little everyday, and making a firm promise not to contribute more mess, might help move you forward a bit.

As for dating, you can definitely explore than if you desire to. Sometimes online dating (off apps) works better. But it sounds as if maybe your energy might be better spent on yourself at the moment; you might have more confidence here if you tackled a few setbacks first.

In regards to the anxiety which also impacts, you could try exposure therapy. Assign goals and make them bigger over time. Step outside the house, onto the porch and stand there for five minutes. Next time, go to the end of the drive and stand there for five minutes. Then walk five metres down the road and wait. And so on… You will build a tolerance once you see you can do it and nothing bad happens. In the future, having a friend or support animal go with you can make it less terrifying too.

Keep your head up. I’ve been there, done that, and it does get better.

Hey @therealcrumbles

I just wanted to drop in and welcome you to the forums, and I wanted to thank you for taking that step to let this all out 💚

It's understandable that telling yourself "childhood me would be proud" feels hollow right now. When you're stuck in the midst of executive function and survival mode, looking at the big picture can feel like looking at a completely different planet. This doesn't mean your progress isn't real; it just means your capacity is currently being used up by just being.

What you described about avoiding things until they come to a head and then panicking is a very common experience, especially when living with ADHD and PTSD. It's often a protective mechanism, even if it feels like self-sabotage. You are not a failure for missing the census date, either; it sounds like you were really struggling with a heavy mental load without the right support at that moment.

Please know that there is no shame in the state of your room or your struggle with hygiene. When you're managing dysphoria and anxiety, your battery for those tasks is often at zero before the day even begins.

Since you mentioned feeling an irrational fear of being away from home, have you found any online-specific support groups or "body doubling" sessions? Sometimes, having someone else on a video call while you do one small thing can make it feel less like a mountain.

You mentioned that sadness feels long-lasting while joy feels hollow. When you’re in that headspace, sometimes the goal doesn’t have to be "joy", sometimes just "neutral" or "safe" is a massive achievement 💚

Hey @MatchaToad! Nice to see you again, bud! 🙂

You just reminded me that I forgot to vote a year or two ago and I got fined for it, lmao... @therealcrumbles, hopefully that makes you laugh/feel better.

It's great to see you around here too @WretchedKid 💚

Also, what you just shared is honestly a perfect example of how easily those things can slip through the cracks, especially when life gets hectic/heavy @therealcrumbles. I think the majority of us can say we have all been there with the forgotten dates and other important matters, and sometimes that also means that we get the consequences, like getting a 'lovely' fine in the mail haha 💚

Hi@therealcrumbles,

sorry that you are going through a very difficult time. A lot of us on here can feel really isolated at times. It's really good that you have reached out on Sane. Losing your mum at 17 would have been very traumatic. Sending you a big hug.

I hear that you are struggling with motivation and finding it difficult to get things done. Is there anything like a favourite movie or song that you could play whilst picking up some of the trash and putting it in a bag and into the bin. Bit by bit you will get there.

Yes showering can feel like an enormous thing to do when going through that much stress. You could get a plastic chair or stool and pop it into the shower and have a very quick wash without having to stand. Even if there is no soap, just water. Or another option is using antibacterial wipes or even baby wipes to clean yourself all over and then throw them out.

Are you seeing a GP and on medication for your mental health? Headspace: 1800 650 890 (Online, phone, and in-person centres) offers counselling for free for people under 25. Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (24/7 phone/online counselling) is for free also. Looks like they offer online counselling so you don't have to go in person. Get it for free while you can because counselling can be expensive.

I know it might be hard but try to drink less,sometimes what can happen is that it makes mental health issues harder to treat down the track. There are also these 2 apps you might find useful. Please take care. Wishing you the best.

• Mello: App for 16–25 year olds to break negative thinking.
• MOST: Digital service for 15–25 year olds for mental health support

Hey @therealcrumbles

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. The fact that you are still here and trying to improve your life is a testament to how strong you are. You have really great insight into yourself which can make recovery a whole lot easier.

Some of the other responses have great suggestions on how to make overcoming the challenges you are facing easier. When it comes to cleaning, I find it helpful to set a five-minute timer. I know I can manage five minutes. Usually when the timer goes off, I’m still able to continue cleaning. Other times five minutes is all I can do and that’s okay. It might also be easier to start with a small area and reward yourself with something pleasant after cleaning it.

I know some people with gender dysphoria prefer showering in the dark. I’m not sure if that would make a difference for you but it might be worth a shot. Having difficulty going out is really challenging. I found medication to be the biggest game changer when it comes to agoraphobia. It makes exposure therapy manageable. Do you have a psychiatrist?

It can be hard to hold on to hope when things are as difficult as they are for you. Things can and do change, often for the better. It takes time but it’s possible. This community is here to support you.