Lost Warning ensuing ramble

I'm not sure how much of a special case I might actually be. There's probably a statistic for my particular circumstance somewhere.

So, let me start off by saying that my main circumstances are that I'm coming up to 50, I'm female and haven't worked a steady job for around 10 years, at least since I began maternity leave 10 years ago. In that time, I have taken care of my audhd son (diagnosed when he was 7), retrained to become a beauty therapist, tried to work, realised that I'm also audhd, have burned out, "enjoyed" post natal depression, developed major social anxiety, have unable to stay with a psych, lost a life partner to life, had to give over my son to his father because I can no longer parent, let alone take care of myself, lost my best friend of 25 years because I am chaos incarnate, oh, did I tell you that I'm also in peri-menopause which is it's own special kind of hell, and then there's the new premises now that I'm living "independently" of anyone I know or love, I do have a boyfriend who's on his own hellish journey as well, no we don't live together because hell.

So tldr: F50 undiagnosed audhder is lost, alone and adrift.

• I'm (redacted) frightened; I can't see a way out of this even though I'm desperately trying to keep going. I feel if I had a diagnosis of autism, then things might be a bit "easier" if I have some support, but how the (redacted) am I going to afford even a "cheap" (lmfao) assessment? I don't have a job and I'm barely managing to feed myself let alone pay my bills, or even afford to have my time with my son which rips me apart.

Anyhoo, Tallyho, thanks for listening.