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Im not ok

BellaleyContributor25 Apr 2026, 10:03 pm AEST

Im not ok

I got kicked out of rehab, they said i was threatening someone & the staff over heard... but they couldn't provide further information on what was said... im not that type of person, I would never threaten anyone... I don't understand after spending 2months there the staff know me better than than that.. bit I was discharged anyways & am now alone with nothing to look forward to. I feel like I've lost all the self confidence that was slowly growing...

It takes me back to being unworthy of anything good happening to me in my life.

Whenever I get myself back something takes it away from me and im stuck in addiction & self sabotage again.

I hate my life. I hate the patterns I've created for myself @heartathome

7 replies

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In response to: Im not ok

MissGremlinSenior Contributor25 Apr 2026, 11:42 pm AEST

Re: Im not ok

@Bellaley this sounds really unfair and confusing, especially considering how much effort you’ve put in over the past two months. I can understand how this has shaken your confidence, and I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

Just know that this situation doesn’t define you. You committed to two months in rehab and that takes an incredible amount of strength.

I know it might feel like everything’s been taken away, but it doesn’t undo the progress you’ve made.

Know that you're not alone, we are here for you ❤️.

In response to: Re: Im not ok

BellaleyContributor26 Apr 2026, 12:07 am AEST

Re: Im not ok

I cant help feeling so alone as always & I don't wanna reach out to those who care for me.for fear im hurting them more than I have already 💔

In response to: Im not ok

SunsetSunriseModerator26 Apr 2026, 12:31 am AEST

Re: Im not ok

That sounds really upsetting and confusing @Bellaley , especially after spending two months there and feeling like you were making progress. Being discharged like that without clear explanation would shake anyone’s confidence. It's so understandable that this has brought up feelings of worthlessness and that “everything gets taken away” pattern. When something positive ends suddenly, it can reinforce those beliefs even if they’re not actually true about you. Getting removed from a program doesn’t define who you are as a person. It doesn’t erase the work you did or the progress you were starting to build.

Right now it might help to focus on what support is still available to you; whether that’s outpatient services, a counsellor, a GP, or support lines. You don’t have to go back to being alone in this, even if it feels like that in the moment.

Take extra gentle care tonight,

SunsetSunrise

In response to: Re: Im not ok

BellaleyContributor26 Apr 2026, 12:55 am AEST

Re: Im not ok

That's just it.m. I had no tome to prepare for after care supports... they dumped me like I meant nothing... they preach things like, everyone deserves recovery & we love to help people recover but their word always contradicted their actions... & I was met with 'im sorry you feel that way' its not fair....
I get that life is not fair... but I invested so much if myself into it im now feel so broken like it was a waste of my time...

In response to: Re: Im not ok

SunsetSunriseModerator26 Apr 2026, 3:29 am AEST

Re: Im not ok

i hear how unfair and disheartening that's feeling, especially after putting so much of yourself into the program. Being discharged without time to prepare or set up aftercare would leave anyone feeling dropped and unsupported. The effort you put in wasn’t a waste, even if it ended this way. The work you did and what you built in yourself is still there, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Take care,

SunsetSunrise

In response to: Im not ok

heartathomeSenior Contributor26 Apr 2026, 7:25 am AEST

Re: Im not ok

Oh @Bellaley I'm so sorry you got kicked out unfairly! I can tell you're not in a good way. The battle is real. I can relate to addiction. I'm here for you.

Sending gentle hugs and much love. 💚

In response to: Re: Im not ok

heartathomeSenior Contributor01 May 2026, 8:32 am AEST

Re: Im not ok

Addiction isn’t loud at first—

it whispers.

A quiet easing,

a soft place to land

when something inside feels too heavy to hold.

It doesn’t come as destruction,

but as relief—

a moment of breathing space

in a world that feels too tight.

And somewhere along the way,

what once helped

begins to hold on.

Not because of weakness,

not because of failure,

but because pain looks for shelter

wherever it can find it.

Addiction isn’t the absence of strength—

it’s often what grows

in the presence of hurt

that hasn’t had a safe place to go.

So maybe it doesn’t need judgment.

Maybe it needs understanding.

A gentler lens.

A quieter kind of care.

Because behind it,

there is always a person—

still there,

still worthy,

still human.

@Bellaley

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