What other options are there? I feel so stuck and hopeless

I been battling what feels like an unbeatable battle for years.

I attempted a semi planned as planned an admission can be through the public system to have ECT treatment last week. I had the support or my community pdoc and case manager and it was so well thought out and planned as much as I could to make it successful.

I went in voluntarily, presented at the ED. The ED was a breeze, I was quickly triaged and straight back to a mh bed. I seen everyone needed to see and then moved to short stay. I seen everyone again and then moved to an acute mh ward the following day and seen everyone again.

it ended in a nightmare. None of the instructions from the dietitian were followed, which were super important to ensure I stayed well and able to remain there for treatment, I was allowed no home comforts- my pillow and blanket, they used ‘infection control’ as their excuse. And then despite being there as a voluntary patient I was not allowed any leave. My 70yr old mum and 10yr old D were just left standing alone in the dining room of an acute mh unit, I was absolutely livid!

it was amazing how they refused to let me go down to the cafe to get a drink yet didn’t bat an eyelid when I said I was going home. It was ridiculous. I was there 2 nights.

I am still so angry and frustrated by the whole experience. My SW came to visit today. First time I’ve seen her since I discharged myself cause I’ve been sick in bed the last 3 days- 99% sure I got it from the hospital and their ‘infection control’. She asked me what’s next? Where are things at now?

I can’t afford private health. It’s really not an option. There are a couple of other potential helpful treatment options available for treatment resistant major depression, but it’s all private. Why are there so many restraints on accessing valuable and potentially life changing therapies???

I honestly don’t know where I go to from here.