How do you deal with...

Hi @tyme

I have not been very well. I hit an exceptionally low point when SI was starting to occur. I have been struggling quite significantly to maintain being at work and home. I had to make some hard choices in my career but I am more worried that things wont get better for me. Medications and therapy doesn't seem to work on me, which leaves me with anxiety, panic and very low depression. Sometimes I do feel like im ok... but sometimes I feel so low it scares me.

When things get really tough, do you have people you can reach out to @Anonymouse1000 ?

You don't have do this alone.

Sometimes, just talking to someone helps break the circuit of negativity. It can add a different perspective to things. Even if it doesn't 'fix' things, it's a listening ear.

Have you been able to engage in any self care this week?

I'm sorry to hear that it's just so tough for you.

Hi @tyme

Thank you, I do have people i reach out to in a crisis. I have booked an appointment with my psychiatrist for next Wednesday and just got off the phone with my GP. I think I just need to struggle through, sometimes I think its just how Bipolar works.

Very true. Those episodes of ups and downs can really take a toll. @Anonymouse1000

I was just responding to another post which mentioned the same thing.

Riding it out is pretty much the way to go.

Hi @tyme, it does seem that way...but I find it provokes nostalgia when I think about how much time ive spent waiting it out or not taking up opportunities because of my condition. Its sad to think that I am trapped by a prison of my own making.

I wonder if we all go through that stage at one point or another and some people tend to stay in it for longer if they haven't found a way out earlier? I know I was in that place for a really long time. Self-sabotage really. I sorted of expected things to go bad and I reckon I contributed to it going 'wrong' @Anonymouse1000

There have been so many situations. For example, I complain about feeling lonely, but then when peopel invite me out, I refuse to go.... then I might say I want help, but then I don't act on the help that's provided....

It's not easy. For me, I had to come to a turning point for that to really change.

@tyme

I really understand that. I know that I have not gone to events because I have either been afraid I will have a panic attack or have been in the middle of a panic attack.

A turning point for me was while I was reading a book, The Happiness Trap. I found it so interesting because it shows how people's desire to 'Be happy' is actually a trap. And rather, life is about accepting both the good and the bad.

The part I really stewed over was an idea that without difficulties and problems, people cannot experience love and joy. That is, if you want to have joy and love, then you have to expect challenges. All my life, I avoided these situations because I didn't want to get hurt any more.. but instead, it just made my life a stand still... I wasn't going backward or forward.

It takes courage to launch into the deep and tell yourself:

I AM okay

I AM okay

I AM OKAY

I AM OKAY

I AM OKAY!!!