So angry he is in a depressive state

Hi all, This post is a vent thought some of you may understand. My husband has Anxiety, OCD and depression and overall is doing really good he works and manages his own health. In saying that on the weekend he had an escalation his anxiety is high due to stress at work and he went on an all night self destructive drinking episode and also drove my parents car drunk. He is lucky that no damage was done. I find these escalations so hard as he doesn't tell me where he is going and usualky lies early on. It's always when I'm out having a good time. It really feels like punishment. I know rationally it's not but it feels that way. I struggle with the behaviour at the time but find the depressive state afterwards even more difficult. I know this is temporary but right now I'm angry. Because he is well and life is good we are supposed to be actively trying for family. I'm not getting any younger and it's taken too long. It's another month lost because of another escalation. I know this is temporary and he doesn't do this often but feel so hurt that he can't focus on us. I realise we are lucky because there are people much worse off just struggling tonight. Thanks for listening.
Cheersquad