Therapist

@LexieJo Hi

It's impossible t say without more context

Sometimes a therapist legitimately needs to question a client's insight and self-awareness

@LexieJo there seem to me several red flags with your therapist. And she certainly doesn't sound trauma-informed.

Many therapies including narrative therapy, schema therapy and EMDR involve re-engaging with the past and processing it differently or reinterpreting it in order to move forwards. And that's something that should be respected at any age.

I'm a senior, a bit younger than you, and have had a couple of unprofessional therapists. You can either choose to raise your concerns with them (or their clinic or AHPRA) or decide to move on.

There's a trauma and cptsd space in the forums if you'd like to share your life experiences and get support - or even continue with the threads you've already started and friends you've made.

I'm so glad you're questioning abd challenging your treatment.

@Dimity

Thank you.

I’ve had my concerns about her for a while. She says she’s trauma informed, and she used to be a social worker for women who experienced domestic violence.

I guess she’s just not for me.

@Dimity

I want to add that she told me not to ring Lifeline unless it was in the middle of the night. She told me to ring my doctor instead.

She told me to call my daughter and tell her that I need her to come and see me.

The worst thing she’s done is to contact my youngest son who’s told me he wants me to leave him alone. I did text him like she suggested. Now he’s told me that he’s going to block me because I won’t respect his boundaries.

I wish I’d never met this counsellor.

Oh dear @LexieJo that's not good at all.

I've wondered if psychologists can claim to be trauma-informed without any credentials for it. I had someone I hadn't yet opened up to, tell me any trauma I'd experienced as a child was due to being a habitual liar. It took me several days to get over it, and I never went back. She told me she'd done it to see my reaction.

I'm so sorry she intruded on your relationships with your kids, and didn't respect patient confidentiality with your youngest son. All you can do is give the kids time and remain available - at least that's the approach I've taken with a difficult family relationship. Things are up and down with them.

Personally I'd be looking for another counsellor. And if your gp recommended them, I'd be giving them feedback.

I understand that Blue Knot have a database of trauma-informed counsellors as well as notes on their fee range and if they bulkbill. They can search by postcode. I've also looked up the Psychology Today directory.

@LexieJo, hi there sorry to hear that your counsellor seems to be unsupportive and unprofessional. I have to agree with you not turning up 4 times is not great and if i were in your situation i wouldn't be happy either. To me that would give me the impression that they don't care as much. As a counsellor i would at least inform the client that the session has been cancelled. The questions you need to ask yourself is ''do i feel like i am being listened to?" or ''does it feel like i am getting better or worse?'' She shouldn't be putting her personal opinion on things. The question she put to you "do you realise you can't change the past" to me sounds like she is brushing you off but i could be wrong. It could be that she wants to know if you have insight. If you feel worse off after seeing her, there is your answer.

@LexieJo, you should be able to call Lifeline whenever you feel like you need it. It sounds like she is not listening and basing it on her terms. You are the patient, not her. She has crossed a boundary with telling you what to do. She can suggest but cannot make you do anything you are not comfortable with.

@Dk5

It’s been less than 2 hours since my 34 year old son has suddenly cut me out of his life.

I’ll ‘move on’ when I’m ready.

Hey @LexieJo ,

We're sitting with you. I'm sorry to hear about your loss in that your son has made the decision to cut you off.

I hear how difficult things must be.

At the same time, good on your for reaching out. I'm sorry that your therapist cancelled on you the last minute - and while you were there! Are you able to provide the service with feedback about how unsettling this is for you?