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UPDATE: need help to help my GF

Stag-whispererCasual Contributor14 Apr 2026, 9:25 am AEST

UPDATE: need help to help my GF

We had a big argument, and she said that she doesn't want any help, doesn't need it, and won't talk to anyone (me or a professional). She also said that she doesn't see me as someone she wants to talk to, and she said she doesn't want me to support her or be in a relationship like that; she only wants me involved in the good parts. I asked about my feelings because I want to support her, and it makes me upset that she doesn't want that, but she couldn't answer me. I reached out to her best friend a few days ago to ask her to check up on her and hang out, and my gf found out. and got very annoyed and asked me to stop trying to be there for and she doesn't need it. Over the weekend, she was extremely upset because she felt lonely and had no one to talk to.

2 replies

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In response to: UPDATE: need help to help my GF

CalmKingfisherCasual Contributor14 Apr 2026, 12:25 pm AEST

Re: UPDATE: need help to help my GF

Hi Stag-whisperer,

it’s obvious you really want to help your GF through this tough time. In my experience it is really hard to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. The important thing is you have made it clear you are there for her if she needs you. This isn’t something you can control and it is really up to her to want to make change or take steps to heal. Give her space and let her come to you when she is ready. If she decides to pull away or not seek help from you or anyone else, just know that you tried your best and was there for her. There is no fault with you and you are not responsible for carrying this. The more space you give her, the more likely she will be to come to you. Stay strong and just remember this is not your fault.

In response to: UPDATE: need help to help my GF

Misty7Senior Contributor16 Apr 2026, 9:07 am AEST

Re: UPDATE: need help to help my GF

That is a strange response but it's most likely the illness doing the talking not her. That must must be very hard to take. She must have some insight that she is unwell or something is not right. She sounds rather defensive. Do you know anything of her family history? I would give her some space and get yourself some support from SANE. Call 1800 187 263 or webchat (Mon-Fri, 10am-8pm, AEST/AEDT). You can ask her calmly, what would you do if someone you cared about was thinking of harming themselves? She doesn't realise how lucky she is to have someone caring for her.

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