Need Advice about Relationship

Well Ive gotten Back together with online ex this is about the third time now I know its been on again off again on again anyway I need some advice I just got off from a call from him and even though today Ive been a bit depressed and angry Anway I talked with him finally and His more or less saying that I neeed to to decide to take the risk to go see him ,that he will pay for the flight but that I need to make up my mind and let him know ,he is saying Ive made up excuses too many times before and for those months that we where apart that I was never the one that reached out in all that time that it was him who reached out to me saying that he still loved me ect and his saying that I didnt reach out to him in all those months why didnt I reach out in all those months and if we together in person it will work out and everything and I just need to make up my mind about taking the risk to go to israel to be with him forever and that His willing to take the risk to find love and his willing to pay for my plane ticket and that he still loves me and that if I still loved him Id be willing to take the risk too and show love through sacrifice to get to him and that hes a honest person and that he is making sure Im being honest to him about going to be with him that i really loved him I would do it ,when he said if I really loved him I would do it without excuses he sounded angry so I was like ok ok mmm ok and let him do the talking mostly and let him get back to work but at first When I rang him and was feeling sad he was like are you ok but as the call went on he was like but you know Im busy with work and thats why I cant respond back to your messages,then he asked how my day was and proceeded to say all the stuff about me making up excuses and that Im being childish about complaining that we dont spend enough time together and that if I was there in person we would be spending time together even though he says he works 18 hour days with 2 jobs 6 days a week ,also is from ghana and only works and lives in israel and he cant get a visa to see me here so basically hes saying hell take the risk to be with me by paying for me to go there and that If I really loved a person I would do that making me feel like I dont love him,making me feel doubt ,making me feel like he doesnt take me seriously cause he laughed when I said I think about him all the time cause I wasnt the one to call him first in all those months and I said well I dont wanna re xplain caiuse I already explained to him that I assumed hed broken up with me and he was like no no no we didnt break up I apologise ,anyway he also said that one thing that makes him mad about me is that I dont take risks to find love,like he does take risks to find love and that hes honest so the more hes honest the more he makes me feel dishonest even though I am being honest ,basically Im on notice to tell him wether Ill evr decide to travel to be with him forever ,then hes like you know the wars on Ive been so busy with work ect ,he makes me feel like I dont know which way is up ,and I felt angry and depressed today but then he critizises me and that someone snaps me out of it cause hes like you gotta get your head staright about taking the risk to be with me your old enough to do this,youve been childish with excuses in the pastest anyway Some advice would be helpfull cause my heart wants him ,stupidly but something must be stopping each time from actually going through with it and he gets frustrated about it