How should I handle close family haveing misconceptions about depression?

Hi @Kimina

Aww Kimina, it sounds like you're doing the best you can. You have explained (quite patiently too by the sounds of it) what you need for your recovery, but it has fallen upon deaf ears.

It can make things difficult when people feel like they know what's best for you. MI is like a physical illness, you can't pressure people to get well, and medication alone won't work. Managing stressors, and getting social support also works in tandem with getting well.

Sometimes it can help to have a health professional explain this family members. Would you, and your family members be willing to consult with your treating health professional?

While I think it's important to get support from others, such as family members, I also think it's vital to get support from the people who can give you the support you deserve. Some people in my life don't get certain aspects of who I am, so I don't seek support from them in that regard, but I go to others who I know will understand and get me. Do you have others that you can get support from? I see that you are at uni, perhaps you can use the counselling service there.

I can't think of other's on this Forum, who have had a similar situation. But I can suggest other members who I understand have had some family conflict in the past - @kato @kenny66 @kristin @PeppiPatty do you have any suggestions for our new member, Krimina?

Krimina, I'm not sure how old you are, but you might also find checking out headspace useful. It's a service for young adults. Their website has a lot of resources for young adults experiencing issues related to mental health. It might be worth checking out.

Welcome to Forums,

CB

@Kimina

Hi kimina, welcome to the forums, i agree with what cherrybomb has written, it is really difficult, when family, doesn't understand what we are going through,

My family is a little different to alot of others, indervidualy we are all quite separate and private, we don't tell each other things unless it is neccessary, i refused to tell my parents when i had my first major episode 7 years ago, it wasn't until i was pressured to by my then wife that i did, and then i told them not to tell my sisters.

My recent issues, have really bought my family closer in discussing health, i am the worst affected family member, but my two sisters share anxirty traits with me and my mum, i still don't really get into talking about myself with them, but it is just how it is in my family, my parents have been fairly helpful this time round, the first one all they did was throw money at me to get help from counsellors......

this time i have been alot more open with them, they still don't understand the facets of my depression, like if i am tired they think i am majorly depressed, but when i am in really deep depression they don't see anything wrong, so it gets weird sometimes.

I have to agree with cherrybomb, my parents came to my G.P for this episode, and they got to hear a whole lot of things, that took them by surprise, about my life, and things i have done. But i had to be honest with my g.p i am glad because it has helped.

some other members might have some better help ideas, hope this has helped maybe

Hi

It seems that your are having a tough time with your family. I never got the chance to try and involve my family in my journey with schizophrenia.

I had family abuse so its not the same as your situation, I did try and explain it to them when I was about 20 or just before.

They were scared of people with mental illness after initially not believing that anyone in the family could have a MI.

Seeing both my parents were abusive to me as a child I thought that this was a bit rich as they clearly had MI issues themselves.

My flatmate is paranoid schizophrenic and he had his mental health team speak to his parents and sister about it.

Whist it did not make them more sympathetic to his situation it did give them some realisation about what he was going through and encouraged a level of acceptance from them.

I think trying to deal with alone is difficult because so many parents have prejudice views of MI generally and are pretty well set in their views about their children, whether real or not.

You're most welcome @Kimina

With your friend, you can always 'test the waters' and get a feel for how comfortable she is before reaching out. Finding the right time and place (e.g., a space that's private and quiet with no distractions, or somewhere you feel comfortable), can be helpful. In my own experience, when I have opened up to people, I've usually waited until I felt it was right.

I hope it goes well. Let us know any updates, and of course you are always welcome to come back on here for support. We're always happy to listen and lend a (cyber) hand.

Hi and welcome

I have found that a lot of people just don't want to understand MI . I think that it scares them I have thought at times about wrapping my head in a bandage and when ask well its like a broken leg just not sure how much time it will be to mend.

People are so much uninformed about depression and MI of any sort we all need to be stronger than them and keep talking about ourselves . So they can get the information that we are just normal people who have an illness all we want is understanding time and sometimes just to sit quietly with us and listen without judgment.

Look after yourself

Scorpion

Hi and welcome

I have found that a lot of people just don't want to understand MI . I think that it scares them I have thought at times about wrapping my head in a bandage and when ask well its like a broken leg just not sure how much time it will be to mend.

People are so much uninformed about depression and MI of any sort we all need to be stronger than them and keep talking about ourselves . So they can get the information that we are just normal people who have an illness all we want is understanding time and sometimes just to sit quietly with us and listen without judgment.

Look after yourself

Scorpion