Paralysis

Hey @Butterfly-Fish

I wanted to thank you for reaching out and sharing this with us all. It takes an incredible amount of courage to voice that feeling of being "unwanted," especially when it feels like it's weaving itself into every corner of your life, from your career to your closest relationships 💚

That "new cut on an old favourite" is a painful place to be. When rejection trauma flares up, it often creates this feedback loop: the fear tells us we aren't wanted, so we pull away to protect ourselves, which then reinforces the feeling of being alone. It is such an exhausting cycle to navigate, and it is one I am familiar with.

When life "implodes" and you’ve been running for three years, paralysis isn't necessarily a failure; it’s often a sign of burnout. If you’ve been in survival mode for that long, your mind and body might just be hitting the brakes because they can't keep up the pace anymore.

I wanted to share with you a few steps that may help when you're stuck.

Try to acknowledge that "loud" voice. That thought of “If I’m not wanted, how will I make a career of this?” is the trauma talking, not your talent or your worth. It’s okay to acknowledge that voice is there without letting it sit in the driver’s seat if that makes sense.

When you feel paralysed, even "considering a career change" can feel like climbing a massive mountain. It’s okay to park the big life decisions for a moment and just focus on making the next hour a little softer for yourself.

I know you mentioned feeling like there’s no one to turn to. Please know that by posting here, you’ve already broken that isolation. You are seen here, and you aren’t navigating this alone.

How are you looking after yourself today? Sometimes, when the "big" future feels impossible to navigate, just focusing on your immediate surroundings can help lower the volume of those relentless thoughts 💚

Hey @Butterfly-Fish

This one is a little bit to close to home for me but I wanted to reach out and say your not alone and I feel less alone after hearing from you. Thank you.

Thank you MatchaToad, I appreciate you sharing wisdom, for being a kind voice and for holding space.

Tou're right on the burn out - probably the holding one since forever - with the past three years simply being the cherry on the cake of the processing all that was not - something I know we can all relate to.

I've been trying to stay quiet and with the feelings as much as possible, trying to be curious with these feelings and what they are pointing to. The beach walk and just now a swim has been super. And unbelievably I was able to even tick some things off the to do list.

The energy arising, the waves, are super interesting and intense, and as you say I dont need to do anything today other than be here and now, remembering I'm in this time and not some long lost memory held in my body.

Sigh. Thanks you so much for holding space - it really means a lot to me. The tears continue to flow but all good. ❤️

@Butterfly-Fish

It is so wonderful to hear that the beach and a swim provided that bit of a reset. There is something about the ocean that has a way of grounding us in the "here and now," especially when our bodies try to pull us back into old memories 💚

You’ve hit on something really profound. Curiosity is such a powerful tool. Instead of fighting the paralysis, you’re sitting with it and asking what it needs. That is deep, meaningful processing.

Please don't apologise for the tears. Sometimes, they are just the body's way of finally releasing everything. You’ve been holding a lot for a long time, and you’ve earned the right to let it out at your own pace.

I’m so glad you felt supported here. Sending you warmth and strength your way 💚

I don’t have a solution. But you’re not alone in feeling this way. Sending hope, love and support your way. Are you able to find joy in doing anything? A small creative task for yourself? Something to fixate and distract with?