We are all just walking each other home

Hi all,

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I felt a connection to you "users" which is uncommon for me and I would like to honor that.

@MatchaToad

I'm still not totally convinced you are not an AI agent. The only thing keeping from reaching that conclusion is that you are too perfect, hahaha.

@Appleblossom

I hope the non-dualism concept is aiding in your contentment. It is a strong core belief of mine as well and am open to discussing the concept further if you wish.

@AlwaysMyself

I really want to talk to you. Sorry I bolted almost at the same time as we started talking that was my only regret on here but it is also the thing that brought me back so thank you. I had a funny for you but it escapes me right now so I'll share my all time favourite classics.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why such a long face"

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

And, I think my one and only original... you can lead a horticultural but you can't make them think.

I hope you are all ok and beyond. Today is Sunday morning. I'll jump back on tonight. But then won't be back until next Sunday.

Be Well

What a beautiful post @i8myego 🙂

So glad you are part of this community.

Thank you @tyme

I was just going to hit the support button but the platform is glitching on me, which is nice, it means I have to use my words.

😀

Hey @i8myego

It's great to see you here again! 💚

I honestly think because I'm autistic and have a strong academic background, my writing style tends to be very structured and precise, which can at times come across as 'too perfect' or AI-like; but it's just the way my brain works haha

I hope you've been holding up okay 💚

@MatchaToad

It is a beautiful combination and must really annoy your peers hahaha.

I have been really good, every crash is a chance to learn something new.

This time around I learnt what goes up must come down. I found some work that totally engaged me and I went manic over about a 8 week period but then couldn't really let go of it.

I would half crash then go manic again then half crash... by the third mania I was exhausted and crashed with no bounce half way down. Yet I still could not let go of it. So I just hovered below and off the floor, with no energy or leverage.

I was caught in a terrible feedback loop. Which was miserable. It wasn't until I jeopardise a relationship with one of my cousins that I got the slap from reality that I needed. That pain allowed me to let "it" (the work) go which allowed me to bottom out and bounce back.

I was bottoming out when I popped in here for the first time.

I have recently picked up the work again but this time I'm much more self aware.

Cheers.

@i8myego

Haha I honestly hope I don't annoy my peers too much! I think once people realise that it's just my natural way of processing things, they get used to it 💚

It really sounds like you've been going through a massive ordeal with that cycle. That feedback loop you described sounds very draining, especially when you feel like you can't let go of the work even when you're running on empty.

I am glad to hear that you're in a better place right now and picking things back up with more self-awareness. It sounds like a much more sustainable way to work. Thank you for being so open about it! 💚

Thank you @AlwaysMyself btw I was standing while the piano was being moved.

@i8myego I am curious what you mean about non duality as a core belief.

I have long been interested in various approaches to spirituality including the Dao, but not looked into it too deeply. I have long appreciated Yin and Yang. Maybe I heard too much about saints and sinners and good and bad. It didnt seem that helpful for me to negotiate life, and the fluidity and complementarity seem in harmony with how I see the world than too much binary thinking. Maybe I am sloppy, but somehow I still discourage binaries in conversation. Gently. Not with big opposition. Strong statements or oppositions seemed not available to me generally in life.

I did Tai Chi after my son's birth, periodically since.

I met a man who was dogmatic and intense about the Dao, and to me it seemed he missed the point, but there was no point arguing, so I let it go.

@MatchaToad I do appreciate the care you put into your responses, making them rich and very attuned to the content of the individual poster. You seem to have a broad toolbox to draw from, so your posts are really worthwhile.

I am ambivalent ... about diagnoses. They seem to love throwing them around at my family, including autism. I can relate to aspergers a bit....but had such a wonky childhood, how would anyone know what is normal in the circumstances.

@Flutterbug9 Yes, the art seems to be find a way of enjoying lone time, without getting too isolated.

@Appleblossom Wrote

im confused Apple. What art?

@i8myego so lovely to hear from you, and it's encouraging to hear that our connection helped bring you back to the forums when you were able. 😍. Be reassured that it is always OK to go absent for a while or have a long time before reading/replying. I hope that having a long absence will never in itself feel like a barrier to returning and reconnecting - because it really isn't an issue for me for people to do it (and it is also 100% supported by the community guidelines too as a 'rule' to accept people doing so - they've got your back too!).

That sounds like a really hectic & exhausting mania; I'm sorry that you experience that. 😓. But I am glad you shared it with us, because it helps me understand what mania is like for people. Mania and psychosis and two things I have not experienced personally, so learning from others is my only way to better understand and then support others. 😊

-- still reading more posts in the thread, but run out of time for a moment so this will be a subsequent posts for the rest - but not ignoring them.

I myself have been quite absent the past week too, and will likely be quite limited for the next 2-3 weeks also, due to life schedule. And we never know what will come up that throws a curveball (in my case, usually a meltdown lol) that means unexpected absences too. 😊

I love your jokes - fantastic "dad jokes" 😄 and well done on the self-made one about horticulture lol.

It's interesting, I've noticed over the past 2 months (having come off medication, for various reasons & effects) that my ability to come up with spontaneous comeback-jokes (including dad jokes) has returned! @Jynx in case this is of general interest to you! I suspect it is a combined effect of my "return of the ADHD unmedicated" as well as the reduced emotional-blunting/anhedonia from the medication. I've always had quick-wit, but it's been harder/reduced the past many years (I actually don't know when it decreased, I think it was gradual? But I suspect in line with the medication and burnout?). I strongly suspect the ADHD-brain in me is the quick-witted tangental-thinking part that results in awful and fantastic but at time too-obscure dad jokes. 🤣 It's also the part that makes my DnD character's actions "unique".

Ahha yes, the attack of the support button glitch @i8myego ! I personify the glitch to be a little gremlin that jumps between our computers lol. Sometimes clearing your browser cache can help, but sometimes even that doesn't help!

@MatchaToad I can totally understand the difference in writing style. 😊. I personally can vary too - depending on whether I am "my usual chatty self" or knowing that I need to be "formal, professional". I have to be careful not to be too direct at times though (eg when raising a behavioural problem impacting me) - I get in trouble at both home and work for this when i forget 😅. So then when I feel unsafe I learn towards "formal" language - and it's gotten me in trouble at work before because people have then interpreted that as "passive aggressive" when (HR-validated!) it was actually just professionally formal assertive.

So I hear you - and I 100% accept your writing style as part of you. 😍

I mean.. perhaps AI can be a tad neurodiverse too, right?

I mean, it has literally learnt its communication style and "social skills" by observing and intergrating other sources/people! As a high-masking autistic myself, I realise this is exactly how I have learned my "rules" and interpreting others.

@Appleblossom reading your post is calming and centring for me this morning. 😊

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@Appleblossom wrote:

the fluidity and complementarity seem in harmony with how I see the world than too much binary thinking. Maybe I am sloppy, but somehow I still discourage binaries in conversation. Gently. Not with big opposition. Strong statements or oppositions seemed not available to me generally in life.

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I think this is very healthy. I also do not like generalised absolute statements - I find them harmful to mental health. I recognise that my within myself there is a push-pull between emotional-reactivity that would tend to trigger generalised absolute statements, whilst also the hyper-rational part of my brain that cannot tolerate this generalisation because of the evidence that also exists that it is not absolute when applied to a general population - even if it is true of a specific individual (or group of / common trait) most of the time. For me, I actually put this latter hyper-rationality as a big factor of why I was able to resolve my minor PTSD symptoms really easily - once I could identify experiences that were to the contrary of the abusive ones, then I could no longer say "all xxx are like this" - because I cannot ignore robust evidence! 😅 So it was then so easy for my cognitive brain to accept that and force myself to be open to new experiences, which then practices the emotional-relearning over time. 😊

But I still get triggered by other people's absolute statements ("injustice" of 😅) if I don't have an appropriate way/opportunity to 'explore' the differening perspectives with them. Dogmatism gets me too.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

I am ambivalent ... about diagnoses. They seem to love throwing them around at my family, including autism. I can relate to aspergers a bit....but had such a wonky childhood, how would anyone know what is normal in the circumstances.

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Diagnosis... I think it depends on the purpose. I don't like labels but diagnosis purpose is to communicate a cluster of symptoms/effects between medical professionals. But diagnosis can also be very validating because it "makes sense" or "proves" it's real. However, some diagnosis are only (as a label) useful for accessing funding because without an understanding of individual impacts of the condition the condition may have broad presentations.

E.g. Autism and PCOS can be do diverse in how they present/effect people. Where as Insulin Resistance generally (not always - there are different sub-types) has more consistent traits (less diversity).

I resist labels and prefer people to understand me instead, as a unique individual experience. 😊