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Struggling

Blueeyes21Casual Contributor28 Mar 2026, 10:36 pm AEDT

Struggling

Tonight was hard, so had my sisters 21st birthday party, I did everything throughout the day to prepare, did everyone’s make up and hair. I was nervous but I thought I could do it. The more the room filled I just started staring, I wanted to do a speech for them. I was through for 2 hours but I felt like I had to go. I wanted to be there and have a good time but I couldn’t and I hate myself for it. I felt like I disappointed everyone. I just want it to stop.

4 replies

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In response to: Struggling

AppleblossomSenior Contributor28 Mar 2026, 11:36 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling

@Blueeyes21 you were there for a little while and you helped a heap with preparations. Good on you.

I am shy about socialising and parties too. Many people are. I hope your family respect your efforts.

Go gently on yourself about it. You showed up for it. Its enough.

Have a good night sleep and I hope tomorrow goes well.

In response to: Struggling

i8myegoSenior Contributor29 Mar 2026, 12:13 am AEDT

Re: Struggling

@Blueeyes21

It's ok to feel bad but you did show up. Don't anticipate how your family feel about it. It's ok to look after yourself as well.

Sometimes we only have 30% to give. If you gave them that whole 30% then, I'm no mathematician, but you gave 100% of your available effort.

I hope that made sense. If it didn't atleast I distracted you for 30 seconds.

Good luck.

In response to: Struggling

Nala2022Moderator29 Mar 2026, 11:19 am AEDT

Re: Struggling

Hey @Blueeyes21 , that sounds like a really overwhelming night, you got through a lot more than you’re giving yourself credit for. You showed up, helped everyone get ready, stayed for a couple of hours, and really tried to push through something that was clearly hard for you. That’s not disappointing, that’s a lot of effort and care you showed for your sister.

That feeling of wanting to stay but also needing to leave can be so frustrating and upsetting, especially when it feels like you’ve let people down, I’ve been there too. But needing to step away doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you were listening to your limits in that moment.

You’re definitely not alone in this, and it makes sense that you’re feeling the way you are after a night like that. Go gentle on yourself 💮

In response to: Struggling

MatchaToadPeer Guide29 Mar 2026, 2:59 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling

Hey @Blueeyes21

How are you holding up today? 💚

I wanted to say that it is so clear how much you care about your sister; you spent the whole day helping everyone else look and feel their best. Please try to be as kind to yourself as you were to them.

Two hours in a crowded, loud room is a long time when your battery is already drained from a day of giving. You didn't disappoint anyone by needing to protect your own well-being; you showed up for the 'heart' of the day, and it's okay that you couldn't stay for the 'noise' of the night. Have you considered sharing your speech privately with your sister? Sometimes, those quiet moments between siblings mean even more than a public toast 💚

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