I'm as crap as I always thought I was

I had to go to hospital for surgery. On discharge sheet it said I had been diagnosed BPD in 08. 5 years later and no-one had told me. Which I understand cos of the circumstances. Most of what I read about it is either that we r mentally ill, or that we are just dumb or selfish. br>Since learning about it I feel like every urge I've had to hide from world, and the things I've tried to do to make being alone OK, we're in fact right. And the well meaning people who have said to socialize and that OK a good guy ate just spouting facile ribbish.