BPD

Hey @MrVex

Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you are walking through right now. Finding out that you have BPD can feel like a lot to take in, especially when you are already navigating the world through the lens of ADHD and Autism. It is so valid to feel "wired" and emotional right now; your brain is processing a lot of new information while trying to manage a very sensitive nervous system.

When you're feeling all over the place, sometimes the best thing is to focus on small, manageable "anchor" points. I wanted to share some suggestions to help you navigate the journey ahead.

Since you mentioned being wired and not sleeping, consider how your Autism and ADHD might be interacting with your current stress. Reducing sensory "noise" (using dim lights, noise-cancelling headphones, or even weighted blankets) can sometimes help lower the baseline "volume" of intense BPD emotions.

When you are feeling emotional and scattered, try not to solve the whole diagnosis all at once. Just focus on getting through the next hour. What is one thing that makes you feel 1% safer or calmer? (it could be having a cold glass of water with ice, a specific song/playlist, or just stepping outside in your backyard just for a moment.)

I want to remind you that a diagnosis isn't exactly a definition of who you are entirely (although, as an AuDHDer myself, my diagnosis does make up a portion of my identity, but not all of it, of course), but it does give us a map to help us find the right tools. Many people find that once they have the right names for what they are feeling/experiencing, they can eventually access therapies like DBT, which are specifically designed to help with that "wired" feeling, etc.

If you haven't already, it might be worth mentioning your lack of sleep to your GP or a specialist. Since ADHD and BPD can both affect sleep cycles, professional guidance can help you find a way to rest so your mind can recover.

Please know that you are not alone in this journey. There are many people here who understand the complexity of navigating Autism and ADHD alongside BPD. We are all here to listen whenever you need to vent or share a small/big win.

Thankyou so much @MatchaToad I really appreciate that heaps, that actually made things a bit easier for me. I've been trying to concentrate on the small wins I can get each day, Yeah sure even if its not something big, its still something. Actually speaking to my mother yesterday helped me to calm down a bit and come to terms with it sort of

The hardest thing about the whole situation is that my housemates don't even understand me. I tried telling them about BPD, about how my mood swings weren't in my control half the time. They didn't listen, they don't want to listen or learn about BPD. They just ridicule me and make me out to be an attention seeker, an unstable person as they call me, we all know wee aren't unstable, we just have something wrong with our brains, its not hardwired like everyone else's brains.

I have actually been doing sensory deprivation, I have black out curtains in my room which also helps a lot with that. I've been cuddling my dog who is literally my rock in this world ❤️. She understands feelings and emotions, she is a smart girl and knows when her Dad's upset, she will actually come to me and comfort me like she has been the last 3 days.

The scariest part for me is knowing that I have this and now I have to go through all my triggers which will trigger me even more, gotta go through god knows how many meds till I find the right ones to help. Like not even 3 weeks and my DR wants to prescribe me anti psychotics, I turned around and told him to shove em up his ass and that I want a new DR. I'm not here to be a medical pjn cussion, being on different types of medication that isn't meant for your body can do serious damage to you, so I'm really scared about where they are going to go with that.

@MrVex

I am so glad to hear that speaking with your mum helped bring a bit of calm to the storm. And honestly, there is nothing quite like a dog's intuition; they certainly don't need a medical manual to understand that we need a "rock" to lean on. It sounds like she is doing an amazing job looking after you 💚

It's also great that you've set up your room with blackout curtains. Leaning more into that sensory deprivation is a solid, practical win for your nervous system.

I am really sorry to hear about the situation with your housemates. It is incredibly painful when people you live with choose ridicule over curiosity. Please know that having a highly sensitive nervous system or a brain wired differently is a biological reality, not an inherent flaw or "attention-seeking." Sometimes, people project labels like "unstable" because they don't have the tools to understand a different emotional experience, but that reflects their limitations, not your worth.

Regarding doctors and medications, I wanted to share a few thoughts with you that may be helpful.

I want you to know that your autonomy matters. You have every right to be an active participant in your care. Feeling like a "pincushion" is a very valid fear, and it is okay to want a doctor who listens to your concerns and explains the "why" behind a treatment plan rather than just handing over a script.

It is common for it to take a few tries to find a professional who truly "gets" the intersection of BPD, ADHD and Autism. If you feel that trust has been broken with your current GP, looking for a new one who is neuro-affirming can make a world of difference in how safe you feel exploring treatment.

Another point I want to add is to try to take one trigger at a time. The thought of even trying to face every single trigger at once is terrifying. You don't have to tackle the whole future today. Right now, your job is just to keep leaning on those small wins and your supportive doggo 💚

I know myself and others are here for the journey you're going through, even those frustrating days or the quiet days 💚