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Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

StelmariaContributor19 Mar 2026, 8:52 pm AEDT

Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hi,

I'm in my 40s [edited by moderator], I suffer from long term chronic illness that causes severe fatigue, permanent headache, prevents me from working (I've been on a disability pension for most of my adult life, but I'm not on the NDIS).

I'm suffering from depression due to it getting harder and harder to cope with my bodily limitations on life, as well as bodily dysphoria related to gender dysphoria. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and I'm struggling but I really don't know what I'm supposed to do for effective support.

I have a supportive and patient GP, but there are no effective treatments for either my physical or mental ailments. I've tried all of the classes of antidepressants (SSRIs, tricyclics, MOAIs, NDRIs) and cannot tolerate them due to strong side effects, that lead me to being bed-bound.

I've tried psychologists but I've never found a good one. I found they don't really understand my issues (especially limitations due to disability) and bulk billing psychology seems to be a thing of the past and I cannot really afford $100+ per session and also chewing through the GP mental health care sessions with different psychologists that aren't worth what they're being paid.

I've tried the public system through the mental health triage line and although the caseworker was nice, it's basically useless, I was not able to see a psychiatrist or a CBT therapist (also was told there was a long waiting list), because I had talked to my GP and a councillor 6 months earlier and apparently that means my care was managed (which is silly because I no longer had any counselling sessions available.)

The new (2026) SANE RecoveryClub is a big confusing mess, none of the 1-to-1 Session topics seem useful at all given my needs and limitations. I don't relate to any of the topics at all and it all seems very overwhelming. it all seems like trying to stick a square-peg in a round hole, it seems like a HUGE downgrade from the old counsellor sessions.

I did connect with a counsellor I saw at [edited by moderator] but I had the maximum 6 sessions, it helped me get through a difficult time. But I can't get back in with them for a long time.

Phone lines like Lifeline are very hit and miss and I don't find them useful at all and sometimes they make things much worse.

Peer support services [edited by moderator] have been slightly more useful at least for getting through a few tough days, but my underlying issues are still there. [edited by moderator]

I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed with my life at the moment and I'm struggling. The longer I've been ill, the harder it gets to deal with mentally, I never feel any relief. Depression is also holding me back in terms of relationships too.

But I really don't know what I'm supposed to do now given I really have tried seeking numerous resources.

Thanks for any *thoughtful* and *supportive* responses you may have.

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In response to: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

MatchaToadPeer Guide29 Mar 2026, 2:51 pm AEDT

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hey @Stelmaria

First of all, a very happy (if slightly painful) birthday to you. It sounds like you've been incredibly productive, but I really hear the exhaustion behind those accomplishments. There is a specific kind of "hangover" that comes from being social when you're managing chronic pain and fatigue, and it's a heavy price to pay for not being lonely 💚

It's actually a huge win that you followed up on the case conference and the 291 with the nurse before he went on leave. Even if the system is slow, having those "codes" in motion is a solid step toward more structured support.

Regarding your therapy options, the $30 local option, which is LGBTQIA+ focused, might be a really good landing pad for the dysphoria and surgery anxiety, even if he is not an expert in disability. Sometimes, having one part of your identity truly seen can make the other parts feel a little lighter, but I absolutely hear your hesitation about the "fit".

With remote therapy, the bland bios are absolutely frustrating; it's honestly like trying to find a needle in a haystack of clinical jargon. If you do end up going down this route, maybe try to keep that "Scientist" approach in mind, by that I mean going in with the mindset of you're just testing them for one session to see if they can handle the complexity of your health.

TransSpace could also be a great "bridge" until that August counsellor is available. It might be worth a shot, specifically for the surgery anxiety, which is a specific mental load of its own.

Please don't feel like you have to "achieve" anything else for this week (even though it is Sunday, haha). You've done the work, you've advoated for accessibility (which is a service to all us disabled folk, so I truly thank you for it), and you've also showed up for your loved ones.

Now, it is okay to just exist in the quiet for a bit and take things slowly, be kind to yourself 💚

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