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Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hi,

I'm in my 40s [edited by moderator], I suffer from long term chronic illness that causes severe fatigue, permanent headache, prevents me from working (I've been on a disability pension for most of my adult life, but I'm not on the NDIS).

I'm suffering from depression due to it getting harder and harder to cope with my bodily limitations on life, as well as bodily dysphoria related to gender dysphoria. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and I'm struggling but I really don't know what I'm supposed to do for effective support.

I have a supportive and patient GP, but there are no effective treatments for either my physical or mental ailments. I've tried all of the classes of antidepressants (SSRIs, tricyclics, MOAIs, NDRIs) and cannot tolerate them due to strong side effects, that lead me to being bed-bound.

I've tried psychologists but I've never found a good one. I found they don't really understand my issues (especially limitations due to disability) and bulk billing psychology seems to be a thing of the past and I cannot really afford $100+ per session and also chewing through the GP mental health care sessions with different psychologists that aren't worth what they're being paid.

I've tried the public system through the mental health triage line and although the caseworker was nice, it's basically useless, I was not able to see a psychiatrist or a CBT therapist (also was told there was a long waiting list), because I had talked to my GP and a councillor 6 months earlier and apparently that means my care was managed (which is silly because I no longer had any counselling sessions available.)

The new (2026) SANE RecoveryClub is a big confusing mess, none of the 1-to-1 Session topics seem useful at all given my needs and limitations. I don't relate to any of the topics at all and it all seems very overwhelming. it all seems like trying to stick a square-peg in a round hole, it seems like a HUGE downgrade from the old counsellor sessions.

I did connect with a counsellor I saw at [edited by moderator] but I had the maximum 6 sessions, it helped me get through a difficult time. But I can't get back in with them for a long time.

Phone lines like Lifeline are very hit and miss and I don't find them useful at all and sometimes they make things much worse.

Peer support services [edited by moderator] have been slightly more useful at least for getting through a few tough days, but my underlying issues are still there. [edited by moderator]

I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed with my life at the moment and I'm struggling. The longer I've been ill, the harder it gets to deal with mentally, I never feel any relief. Depression is also holding me back in terms of relationships too.

But I really don't know what I'm supposed to do now given I really have tried seeking numerous resources.

Thanks for any *thoughtful* and *supportive* responses you may have.

11 replies

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In response to: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hi there @Stelmaria ,

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at the moment. I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

I'm sorry you have found the RecoveryClub a little confusing and you haven't found any topics that resonate with you. As you probably know, SANE services focus on psychosocial recovery, so I wonder if the 'therapy' you are looking for sits outside this?

Psychosocial recovery looks at the the emotions and feelings that come up for people within their environment, and how little tweaks can be made to improve the way people relate to what is happening for them. Unfortunately, we do not provide specific therapy or treatment.

The forums here are a place for peer-to-peer connection. A place to share experiences in an anonymous way. You may have noticed that your previous post has been edited to remove any potentially identifying information (including services in your area or your location). This is to protect the anonymity of members. Anonymity is important to us. You can read about this in our guidelines: https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage/title/community-guidelines

I hope you find support and insight as you connect with members on the forums.

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

>Psychosocial recovery looks at the the emotions and feelings that come up for people within their environment, and how little tweaks can be made to improve the way people relate to what is happening for them. Unfortunately, we do not provide specific therapy or treatment.

"Psychosocial recovery" is much more broad than what is actually listed. Psychosocial recovery is in no way limited to "little tweaks".

I find your comment contradictory and confusing since the "1-to-1 Session topics" are a very narrow and specific in terms of focus.

Please understand that telling me the therapy I require may sit outside of this is not useful if you provide no advice on how to actually access that therapy.

I am just upset and frustrated as what is offered is not what I signed up for last year. What is offered is no longer useful to me and I am having trouble finding accessible therapy that is actually effective.

A note, you also edited out parts which are not identifiable to any specific state, Thorne Harbour offers services in more than one state for example.

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hi @Stelmaria,

Thank you for being so open and honest in your feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain your experience and concerns. Your perspective is important, and your comments about the service descriptions are helpful for us to reflect on.

This website has information related to the formal avenue to submit feedback to SANE - https://www.sane.org/about-us/policies/feedback-and-complaints-policy. The direct email is feedback@sane.org

There is a post from a Community Manager in this thread that you may find resourceful as well as it may provide further clarity around the changes and services:

Have we been forgotten about? - SANE Forums

I hope you find this helpful.

Take care.

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

>>>>Thank you for being so open and honest in your feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain your experience and concerns. Your perspective is important, and your comments about the service descriptions are helpful for us to reflect on.<<<<

I already provided feedback before I posted here, but I still have not recieved any response to my feedback hence why I am mentioning it here too.

I'm also frustrated that instead of actually addressing my actual question I'm just getting generic responses that are not helpful.

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Thank you for letting us know, and I’m really sorry to hear you haven’t received a response to the formal feedback you submitted. I can understand why that would feel frustrating, especially when you’re trying to get clarity.

I also want to gently share that the forums aren't a space where formal feedback can be addressed, our role here is to listen, acknowledge concerns, and help point people toward the right avenues.

Formal feedback is handled through SANE’s internal process, and responses can take up to 30 days. I know that wait can feel long, but your submission is important and will be reviewed through that channel.

In the meantime, I wanted to offer this resource (Digital Mental Health Resource Directory) which you may find helpful if you haven't accessed it already.

Take care.

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

>In the meantime, I wanted to offer this resource (Digital Mental Health Resource Directory) which you may find helpful if you haven't accessed it already

All of this is still confusing and overwhelming, I have no idea what is applicable and accessible and actually useful given I have already tried to access numerous services already and had problems with that.

It needs to be spelled out for some of us. Just providing a long list of services that may or may not apply is not helpful for people who are struggling mentally.

In response to: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hey @Stelmaria

I've been sitting with and reading this thread, and I wanted to reach out to you to acknowledge the immense weight you are carrying in your life right now. It sounds like you are caught up in quite the storm: managing a body that feels like a prison due to chronic illness and dysphoria while trying to navigate a mental health system that feels increasingly like it's built for "easy fixes" rather than the complex, long-term realities you live through every day.

I hear your frustration with the 2026 Recovery Club changes. When you are already so overwhelmed, being told to make little tweaks or join group sessions that do not resonate with you can feel like you're being asked to carry a mountain when you can't even stand up.

Since you mentioned you are struggling with what to do next for effective support, I wanted to offer a few "peer-level" thoughts that aren't just another feedback email or a waitlist:

It is incredibly frustrating to be told that your care is "managed" just because you saw someone six months ago. If you have the spoons, you could try asking your GP for a Case Conference. This is different to the standard Mental Health Care Plan; it allows your GP to talk directly with other providers (like a private psychiatrist or a specialist) to argue/push that your current "management" is actually a gap in care.

Another point I wanted to mention is that since standard Psychologists haven't "gotten" it, you might look specifically for therapists/counsellors/social workers practising counselling who identify as Neuro-affirming or Disability-led. They often understand that "CBT" doesn't fix chronic illnesses. Some offer, like my own social worker that i see for counselling, sliding scales specifically for those on DSP or experience financial hardship/low-income.

And just on the topic of the intersection of gender dysphoria and chronic illnesses, it is a heavy double-burdened from my own experience as a queer nonbinary/transmasc disabled person. Sometimes, finding a peer group (online or face-to-face) specifically for queer/trans folk with chronic illness can be more validating than general forums, as it is more tailored and will often have really useful advice/tips/resources.

On the days when "participating" in a program feels impossible, please know that you can just be here. You don't need a goal or "recovery" milestone. If you just need a place to vent about the fatigue or the unfairness of the system, then you are more than welcome to do so here, as this is a safe space.

I can't imagine how exhausting it is to never feel relief, but I want you to know that your persistence, even just writing this post, is a huge testament to your strength.

When the big system fails us, sometimes we have to lean on the small things. Is there anything in your environment right now - a specific sound, texture, or even a view- that feels even 1% more tolerable than the rest of the world?

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hi @MatchaToad, thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply.

I will talk to my GP about a mental health case conference. This (he mentioned a specific code as well that I can't recall) was mentioned by the mental health nurse following up on the mental health triage/liaison, he mentioned it as an alternative to getting into the public system of mental health care. But at the time I didn't think I'd be denied for everything he was trying to ask for.

I am a participant of local transfemme discord groups as well (they can be supportive but most are typically able bodied 20/30s who don't really understand disability very much), as well as a few international chronic illness groups, but the latter can be kind of negative as it's still largely people who have long term disability who are usually struggling. They have been somewhat helpful in the middle of the night, when I've felt intense distress.

I like your idea of Disability-led/LBTQI counsellors and I did in fact see one from a local service (that was edited by a moderator), that was actually good and had a very broad minded view and approach (which was due to previously being a scientist). But these sorts of free/low cost services are hugely in demand and have basically no availability and in this case limited to 6 sessions per year, which means waiting to like August before getting back in.

I find the small things (and this includes spending time with loved ones) are okay to focus on if I'm panicking or whatever, but aren't distracting enough, the depression quickly returns, and the other symptoms (brain fog, pain and fatigue) never leave.

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Hey @Stelmaria

I'm really glad the mention of the case conference resonated with you. It sounds like the mental health nurse was on the right track, and it might be worth revisiting that now that you have a clearer picture of the "denials" from the public system. Sometimes having that specific "code" or terminology helps a GP advocate for you more firmly.

I really hear what you're saying about the gaps in support groups. It can be incredibly isolating to be in trans/queer spaces where disability isn't fully understood, or in disability spaces where the atmosphere feels heavy with shared struggles.

It's also so valid that the small things are not distracting enough from the reality of brain fog, pain, and depression. Grounding is a tool for survival in a moment of panic, but it doesn't cure the exhaustion of long-term chronic illnesses. When those symptoms never leave, it's honestly not about distracting yourself anymore; it's more about how to exist alongside them without losing your mind.

Since you would have to wait until August to see the counsellor you liked, I wonder if we can help bridge the gap in a low-pressure way.

I know you mentioned you liked that specific counsellor's broad-minded, scientific approach. Sometimes, when the "emotive" or talk therapy feels too fluffy or doesn't shift anything, a more analytical or biological understanding of what the body is doing can feel more grounding - this could even tie into somatic therapy/exercises.

Another idea I have, seeming August is quite a while away, I wonder if it was possible if you could get in touch with that counsellor/their organisation ask if they could make some suggestions on counsellors you could see that meets your needs and is affordable? Or you could ask in local queer groups if they have recommendations.

And on those days where the brain fog is especially thick, please don't feel like you have to keep up with the forums. We are here whenever you have the energy to drop in, even if it's just to say, "Today is a heavy brain fog day."

In the meantime, since you mentioned spending time with loved ones is one of the things that feels okay, do you find that those connections help take the edge off the isolation, even if the physical symptoms stay the same?

In response to: Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

Re: Struggling to find effective therapy after already trying numerous options?

@MatchaToad

I've been more busy than usual this week, doing something social or similar for 1-3 hours each day and I am really struggling body wise to keep up. Like it helps with feeling less lonely but not with how hard it is on my body.

That includes 1hr of work (as a contractor, it depends when work is available but I don't commit to much hours), participating in a research workshop, gf over for my birthday, visiting my mum, some social events. Also the mental health nurse nurse I previously mentioned followed up (at 11 weeks which is odd because it's supposed to only be 6 weeks, but of course he is going on leave for half a year now. I asked about the case conference stuff and the 291 thing). Also following up on my ECSA complaint about voting centre accessibility etc too.

So I feel somewhat accomplished but also completely worn out.

I have found the cheapest psychologist here that can do $30 hour sessions (GP mental health care plan), and he is LGBTI+ focused but also I'm not sure about the fit with regards to disability. There is also RemoteTherapy that has a long list of psychologists (most with very bland meaningless bios, a few might be okay), and they bulk bill so I'm considering that again.

I know https://www.transspace.org.au/low-cost-counselling does $30 telehealth counselling sessions but I'm also not sure on the applicability to disability stuff, but may help with dysphoria/surgery anxiety related stuff.

That's it for now, the headache I have all the time is now reached the splitting level...

Thanks for replying.

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