Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
carer1987New Contributor
I've never ever written on a forum before.
I am very disturbed by the sense of responsibility i feel over my sister's livelihood as she keeps telling me. Any advice on handling bpd in a sibling would be much appreciated...my psych said i have ptsd signs due to this
In response to: My older sister has SEVERE bpd
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Hi @carer1987
Welcome to the forum.
My wife suffers from borderline personality disorder, I am still learning how to handle this in a way that benifits both of us. I have been often reccomended the book Stop walking on eggshells but have not had a chance to check it out yet, (I got the e-book version recently but wasnt able to get along with it, need to arrange a swap for the hard copy) you may like to take a look at it also.
The biggest thing I am reading and being told is to inpliment loving boundaries and be consistant in maintaining them. This is somthing I struggle with 😞
Trust this is of some benifit to you.
In response to: My older sister has SEVERE bpd
CherryBombSenior Contributor
Looking after somone can bring up mixed feelings. On one hand, you love them and want the best for them. On the other hand, you can also feel tired and fed up.
When caring for someone with a MI, such as BPD, it's important to recognise that the behaviours are symptoms of the disorder, not the person. Tough this boundary between the illness and person is very blurry. So try to put boundaries around behaviours that impact you the most.
You want to connect with @Che who has a daughter with undiagnosed BPD. She written about some of her diffculties here, and @Waterlily has similarly written here about her daughter who has BPD.
I'm sorry to hear about how this is impacting on you. Carers are at risk of developing their own MI too. I've written about the negative impacts associated with caring here. It's really important that you can look after yourself too. Reaching out on the Forums is good start. Do you get much time to yourself?
In response to: My older sister has SEVERE bpd
carer1987New Contributor
In response to: Re: My older sister has SEVERE bpd
NikNikSenior Contributor
Hi @carer1987
I hope you found the threads and references @CherryBomb & @Determined recommended helpful.
Did you want to share a bit more about what's going on with yourself and your sister.
Can you explain a bit more about feeling responsible for her livelihood? Do you live with her? Does she have any other family of her own (children, partner etc).
Nik
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
Fields marked * are required
