FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Unknown userMember

Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

I realise how little i mean to people. i mean nothing.
its abit like walking down a long dark street never knowing when a light might flick on to show me the way or give me some hope.
im tired of trying. tired of hoping. tired of coping. tired of exisiting. tired of breathing. i think im done.
dear everyone that knows me, im sorry im such a disapointment. im sorry i cant live up to your expectations. im sorry i was born. im sorry if ive hurt you. im sorry if ive made you miserable. i deserve all the blame and hatred i have gotten. everything is my fault and im sorry.
im locked within the walls of my own minds and i just cant escape it.
Pain. Pain all the time. It runs through my veins a fast flowing river with nothing there to stop it.
Just get over it they say. i wish i could, im living minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. im struggling with memories that haunt me everyday and i dont think they will ever fade.
my thoughts are overwhelming and what hurts me the most is when people pretend to care but really they dont.
im so scared. things just arent the same anymore. im not doing anything right anymore. ive lsot myself, the person i once knew isnt here anymore. i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like i dont belong here or in reality. no where. i have constant feelings of being unworthy and hopeless, of being a prisioner in my own body.
i have so much pain physically and mentally. i try to stay happy. i try to keep smiling. i try to be brave. i try to be stong. i try to act like everything is ok but im far from it.
i never know when im going to have a 'good' day and at any minute im triggered and takes such a long time to recover.
there are monsters living inside me, attacking me, ripping me apart from the inside. i dont think its ever going to end
but its ok "ill just have to get over it" just as expected

1972 replies

741 - 750 of 1,972
1...747576...198

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

PepsimaxSenior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Thanks @Mazarita sounds like you have a good day planned

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Former-Member @Mazarita @Pepsimax

I started the day off bad and hopefully its a good day but i just made breakfast for everyone. Im going to the movies at 2 so in between that im going to feed the horses bit too wet to ride but i can feed them pity ill have .u sisters hanging off me .
Still feel like crap and abit of a headache but hopefully it goes soon

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

PepsimaxSenior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Former-Member you seem to do a lot of babysitting it will be good when they find a place of their own

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Oh yes @Pepsimax i do. I think im their mother
Only difference is they didnt come out of me !!

Ill still have one with me when i go to the movies this arvo but its better than going by myself

Going to see beauty and thr beast!!! @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

PepsimaxSenior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Former-Member have you gone to feed the horses good to get out of the house

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

PepsimaxSenior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Former-Member I want to see that I might take myself this week before the holidays start

In response to: Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Hi @Former-Member .....

Its tough at the moment that your mum is focussed on her new relationship and you are "dumped" a lot with babysitting duties .... in a way you have become like a mother to your siblings, and while that is not the "right" order of things, it has always happened across time, and in different forms.

It used to be that when a family lost the mother, the oldest daughter became a mother to her younger siblings, and often had to work as well. It's the same with the loss of a father, and the boys having to leave school, sometimes before they could read or write, and go out to work to support the family. That happened to my MIL's and FIL's families through war, and it's one reason why both of them had a lot of struggles with personal relationships.

Believe it or not, as tough as your situation is, you're doing okay .... and hopefully when your mum's new relationship is strong, she will take back up more time with taking care of your sisters, but even if she doesn't, they will grow up and become more responsible themselves.

What is really important for you is to keep seeking moments of joy in your life, like soaking up Beauty and the Beast at the movies this afternoon. Just enjoy every minute .... and I hope your sister does too .... these will become precious memories for you both later, and she will appreciate that you were there for her.

Try to park up the sucky bits and draw out of each day the things that were good ..... this becomes a bit of a "coping box" that helps you to remember that good things are happening too, and that's the thing that stops you from sinking into anger and bitterness.

What a beautiful big sis you are at home, while you're our beautiful lil sis here ..... ❤️

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@utopia wrote:

Find something to hold on to. Something soft.Run your fingers over it. Notice how soft it is. Almost like a gentle tickle on the palm of your hand.

{Wanders onto thread and delivers a look-alike of own pillow pet for @Former-Member}.

In response to: Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Unknown userMember

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Faith-and-Hope@Pepsimax@Mazarita@Former-Member @Phoenix_Rising@Zoe7@utopia@Owlunar@BlueBay alright, i do declare its too muddy for riding, i just spent the last two hour feeds 4 hourses and cleaning out their bussiness out of their paddock.

results of todays visit! SHOWER TIME!!!

In response to: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

Beautiful my @Former-Member

741 - 750 of 1,972
1...747576...198

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

SANE is a public company limited by guarantee and registered tax-exempt charity with DGR (Deductible Gift Recipient) status.

Charity ABN 92 006 533 606. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible. SANE, PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053.