Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

@Former-MemberYes age does not mean wisdom (or smartness necessarily either).

@Spookytookimssaid it very well. I'm getting old alright (or on my way there), I'm still working on the wisdom...

I'm thinking of you.

I take the loss of friendships very hard too, & it sounds like you've done the best that you could.

I'm also sensitive by the way (or so I've been told).

Adge

thank you @Adge@CheerBear@Spookytookims

i get what your all saying about being sensitive and some emotions are just overwhelming and cant be helped until abit later and just to let the feeling pass and just push through it.

ok so i get that you dont have to old to be 'smart' as such . i jsut wish i had more wisdom as to what to do or how to handle things better.

im not approaching my old friend again, this is the 4th time and if she doesnt want to be in it well then thats up to her i guess

pretty much what you said @Former-Member but not quite the push through it thing.

Sometimes we need to sit on that little boat offshore for a bit, or take time out to swing on hammock in a safe place.. and just let the emotions flow over us while we think about things, or focus on something happening around us.... so our minds can go quiet. Sometimes that can lead to a kind of understanding and acceptance too.

Yes at time's there might be a need to "push through it". Like if we are somewhere taking time out isn't appropriate right then, but I don't think pure 'denial' of our emotions is ever really healthy either, so that should probably only be a temporary thing. Or they will just bubble somewhere and might fester into something we can't cope with or don't want inside of us.

So it's important to come to some understanding about them rather than just pretend they don't exist.

so how do i just do that now @Spookytookims theres so much going on in my head and ive been trying to just let it wash over me but its not really helping me and at the moment mndfullness is helping me either

and thanks @CheerBear

ok @Former-Member... so I think that means your head is a kind of big jumble right now because your emotions are just making you feel a kind of let's say "crazy" but not really meaning crazy just jumbled really.. is that right? If that's right what you need to do is try to figure out in your head what is the biggest thing bugging you... try to pick one of those things to focus on. Then think about that.. just think what it is and why it's bugging you. Then decide ok what do I need to do to feel better about it...

Take for instance your friend who has treated you badly... yes she treated you badly and everyone is agreeing with that, so you have to say.. yes she treated me badly but I can't do anything about that, all I can do is understand she has her problems and I can't make her act better towards me, so I have to accept that and grieve for the loss of the relationship but then I have to move on from it and if she contacts me good, if not. Well I can't do anything about that.

After that there's no more you can do but accept it. That's where acceptance comes in, it's so important to move on from things that happen to us but we can't change. Do you see what I mean? and accepting it can be very very hard, but it's necessary or we can't move on from it.

That's just an example to try to help you understand the process, and you can do that with everything that is bothering you. Get it to a point where you resolve it as much as you can, then you have to accept it.

Not you.. meaning you.. but all of us have to do that with things that happen but we can't control them. And some things take a very long time to process to get to that stage. Some things are easier.

The more sensitive the person is, the more emotion comes up with the process so then that makes it harder when there are emotions involved. That's why it is important to try to think through the emotion, but that can be really really hard to do.

yes @Spookytookims my mind is a complete mess of a scramble!

ive had a think about the friendship but i wish it wasnt like this but i cant do anything about it. she can come to me now and if she doesnt want to be part of it well thats her choice

freaking out about my studies- which i know your getting away from so thats ok ill leave that- im on my study thread for that atm so its ok

but the rest like grieving for my nan as now in a few days its her Date of death (DOD)

and worrying about the lump and the gp appointment on thursday

the upcoming womens health nurse appointment to talk about the pelvic exam is maing me just as nervous as the exam itself

the card thing today is playing on my mind and is stirring up alot of emotions of from the SA

and yesterday i was watching a horse show and those emotions of being there i want to get back into it but im so dissapointed in myself that i am where i am isnt helping me.

i cant even do it yet because i ahve a b#$ch of a horse and its really hard to et through to her and everytime i ride its just another chore and its gone form being fun to ugh i have to ride again. im not one to give up on a horse or an much else for that matter but right now i just want to give up Spooky

so are you putting the study as a priority @Former-Member? And you will know about the lump on Thursday is your check-in with your GP isn't it? Have you contacted your GP about it if you are super worried? or is it ok until Thursday?

yes im trying to put it as a priority @Spookytookims but i cant seem to get right into it. im jsut staring at it blankly

i havent contacted my gp, i think it can wait till thursday, its just casuing me so much anxiety is not funny the same with the exam with the nurse, even the appointment

and grief and that stupid card and worrying about tomorrow now and i just dont want to

and its coming to that time of the month as well and thats just what i need NOT!

lol @Former-Member you need to take a breath girl... ok we can tick some things off that list.

✅ The lump - that's taken care of Thursday.

✅ Your Nan - that is understandable grief so that's terrible sadness but it has good reason to be there

✅ Study - you know you need to set time aside to get stuck into it and you are doing something towards that on your study thread now.

✅ Time of month - nothing you can do about that one either I'm afraid

So basically we are left with the card.... now did you throw that card away? Did you talk to your mother about it or anything? If you don't want to talk to her about it.. what's your solution with it? Personally first thing I'd be doing is getting rid of it. But if it isn't yours to get rid of, then somehow you either have to talk to someone about it or try to put it out of your head because it is throwing up too much stuff that you just don't need or want.